Chapter 9: Harry's Secret

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I'm sitting in the courtyard of the Wizarding School with a bottle of booze sitting right to me half empty. How did I get it? Well I ran into some of my 'buddies' and snagged a bottle. Ok I lied. I snagged three bottles. I'm literally not ok and I wish I never left. I wish I told Malfoy what had happened to me and just let him judge me.

I sigh and take a sip of the rest of the first bottle and going to the second one. I feel so out of it and I just want to drink the pain away. Drink away the mistakes I've made. I know I can't travel back in time to make it all go away, so this is the best option I've got.

My parents don't know about this. Sure, they know that I drink, but they don't really know that it's a daily occurrence for me. Not daily, but at least every two days. I know it's not healthy, but if my parents knew then they would definitely send me to a therapist. I'm not going to be talking to some stranger. They've tried when the incident first occurred, but two weeks later I stopped going because I refused to go when my therapist wanted to start going into more detail on what happened after the incident. The aftermath. I wasn't going to tell her what happened. No way in hell was I going to do that.

A shiver was sent down my spine just thinking about it. I hurt. It still hurts just thinking about it. A tear left my misty eyes, not even realizing that they were even welling up in the first place.

"Harry?" A voice whispered. I tensed and turned very slowly to see the similar blonde hair of a Wizard that I grew to like.

I relaxed when I saw Malfoy and gave a sad smile. "What are you doing out here?" I questioned.

He walked over to me and sat down. "Looking for you obviously." I looked towards the ground, my hands still having a hold of the beer I've snagged. He looked towards my hands and raised an eyebrow. "Is that alcohol?"

I shrugged. "Maybe," I took a swing of it. "Maybe it just is."

"Why?" I almost didn't hear his quiet voice. It was so low that I almost missed what he said.

"Because I can have it?" It came out more like a question. "I'm just drinking it ok?"

"You're upset..."

That cut me off guard for a moment. "What do you mean? No I'm not!"

"Yes you are," the blonde said firmly. "You're upset and it's all my fault!" He turned away from me, so all I could see was his back. His shoulders were shaking a bit, so I could see that he was going to cry. He felt guilty that he asked me questions that I didn't want to answer.

I sigh. "I knocked up a girl when I was fourteen, almost fifteen."

He stilled. "What?" He turned his face a bit towards where I was.

"I said that towards the end of my freshman year of high school, I knocked up a girl and got her pregnant," my voice was a s steady as it could be. I can't cry. At least right now I can't. "I didn't mean to in all honesty. I used protection, but I guess I didn't put the condom on right or something? I'm not sure. After that she got pregnant and the whole school knew it like that," I snapped my fingers to show how quick it was.

"Was she something to you?" Draco asked.

"Yeah. She was my girlfriend at the time."

"So you were there for her and all was well right?" His face brightened like it was ok and that there was nothing to worry about. But then his face fell. "What happened? Where you not there for her or something?"

"No. I wanted to be, but I couldn't."

"Why?"

"Because she wouldn't let me..." I sighed for like the millionth time.   "She broke up with me." I paused for a moment. I need to take deep breath's before I continue. "And she spread rumors that I raped her."

Draco was speechless to say that least. I bet he didn't expect me to say that.

~

I didn't expect him to say that! What the hell is wrong with that girl? Did she not want to admit her and Harry's mistake, so she put the whole blame on him!? That's so fucked up in so many ways that I don't even have words to describe how messed up that is! Rape is nothing to joke about and I believe that girl should know that. I guess she would rather ruin Harry than give a damn if rape is a serious topic or not.

"Wh-what happened after that got out?" I asked. Hoping that everyone caught her bluff. The same thing happened to George Weasley, Ron's older brother, and it became one of the biggest scandals at Hogwarts of the year, maybe almost the biggest one in decades.

"Everyone believed her. They casted me aside, I was kicked off the soccer team because even my coach believed her lie and my life was ruined for the rest of my life. At least I had my teachers who believed me." I smiled at that last part. "Even my parents believe me, which I was so thankful for because if I didn't have my parents I don't know what would have happened to me." I smile grew even more.

You also have me, is what I wanted to say, but I didn't. I saw something in his eyes. Was it fear? It didn't look like he was looking at me, so I turned around. Nothing? Well that's weird. "Potter? Is something wrong?"

"I want to tell you so bad because it's just eating me up inside and I haven't told anyone in my life," he spoke quietly.

"What?"

He shook his head. "N-nothing," he muttered. Yeah he ain't getting away so easily like that.

"No tell me. It seems like it's important and if you haven't told anyone else, and it seems like you're dying to, so spit it out," I gestured.

He cried. That's all he did. He cried and cried and I didn't know what to do. I knew for one thing though that he needed comfort.

I go over to the shaking leaf that was known as Harry Potter and hugged him. Noting that he's a bit taller and bulkier than me, he ended up engulfing me in the hug. Guess I'm trapped.

"Tell me Harry."

"I-I can't."

"You can and you will." I don't care now. He's hurting and the only way to make it better, at least somewhat, is to tell someone what's wrong. That's the first step to healing.

"It was more than just getting punched in the gut and being called names and just getting the cold shoulder from everyone," the raven spoke after calming down, still holding on to me like he needed to protect me in a sense. Or was it a comfort thing? I'm not really sure to be honest. "They wanted me to see what it was like to be hurt that way." I froze. He didn't even need to say the words to know what was coming. They didn't. But apparently they did. These bullies did the unthinkable. "They r-raped me Draco." And he spoke the words of truth. The words that he need to say to start to heal.

I started to go into a different angle to look the boy with the emerald green eyes straight into them. "Thank you for telling me. Do you feel any better?"

He looked a bit worn out, but gave me a slight smile. "Yeah...I guess I do feel better."

I place my forehead on his and had my eyes closed. He trapped me in his arms once again and I smiled. I was happy that Harry was able to trust someone, to trust me with this knowledge of his that he kept inside for all these years. "Good," I tell him. "Good."

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