Dear Surrender

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Dear Surrender,

What is the bigger picture? Is it life or death? In my life, it can't be both. Is it happiness or sadness? Once again, in my life, it can't be both. Can you show me? Which one is it? Am I missing something here? I was told when I was younger that life didn't give a shit about me. Yeah, clearly, I know that and have no doubt my mother was right about that. That was by far the only thing she was right about. Other than that, my mother is an epic failure. However, they say life is what you make it. Is that true? All my life, I've been trying to 'make it,' but the only thing I've done is—fail. I've been trying to 'make it,' but when I reach the top, I am kicked back down. I've been trying to 'make it,' but when I feel like hope has crossed my path, it has been tackled down once again by one too many challenges. I am 'making it' the best way I can, but life beats me down when I try my hardest to get up. What am I supposed to do? Surrender? If so, what am I surrendering to? Love, hope, peace, joy, happiness, Kace? Myself? Who or what? Tell me what to do! Show me, please! Lead the way. I promise I will follow.

Right here, right now, I surrender,

Ember 

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