Chapter 1

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I started the day with a cup of americano coffee and a newspaper right on my hand. I'm sitting alone at my office,like I usually do. Waiting for everybody's coming for work. Everyday,I spend most of my time at the office. Do everything that I can do to make my company going well and to forget what I've been through outside the office things.

I'm not kind of a hard worker person. And worst,something happened and it turns out changes all of my habbit.

I'm not smokers,and now I almost smoke two pack of cigarettes per day. I don't like to spend all of my night wide awake,but now I stay up late almost every night.

I knew that I changes my self into a bad way,into not the way I am,I'm sure about that. And I know that I was wrong,but what I don't know is,how could I changes this? How to help my self get out from here?

I never choose and want to be someone like this,I don't even think about that. But when I remember what exactly happened to me two years ago, I feel tired, and it's make my breath stop for a second. Sore,pathetic and guilty spinning around my head. Something that I can't bear alone, but I've tried to disctract kind of things for at least two years.

I'm Argy Tanvir Syandria, 27 years old,this is story about me searching for meaning of love and someone who will taught me,what is love is.

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