Potato Files

Wish upon a dandelion

Wish upon a dandelion or star

Here am i again. Looking at the stars. They're so many. Only now did i saw many stars, shining bright than ever.

But this one star is stunning. It's like a color red or orange. It blinks every second. Every star blinks, but this one really caught my attention.

I feel like we're somehow connected. I always admired the stars, but now.. i really feel like we are connected.

I just stared at it. What kind of star is that?

I can't believe that stars are a big hot circles in the outer space.

When i see the stars.. i feel like crying.

I feel like having a breakdown.

I feel so lonely but i feel like the stars are watching me and telling me that it's alright to feel sad and lonely.

They're the only ones in my side. I tell them my stories every night. They get so many when i tell stories.

It feels so warm but cold. I feel loved.

I want to cry. But, I can't. I don't want to.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star..", i started humming those words.

"How i wonder what you are.." What really are they?

"Up above the world so high.." Why are they so high? I want to hug it just because they are present when i'm always sad.

"Like a diamond in the sky.." I closed my eyes and i can still see that diamond in the sky.

"Twinkle twinkle little star.." I sat in the floor, hugging myself.

"How i wonder what you are.." I cried, again, but without looking at the sky.

"Up above the world so high.."

"Like a diamond in the sky.."

I closed my eyes once again and i felt the cold floor. I fell. I'm getting weaker.

I can't do it anymore. I can't watch these stars forever. I am giving up now.

I'm so sorry, little stars.

I opened my eyes and i saw the stars blinking, are they panicking?

This is all in my head. I am crazy. Close your eyes. Don't look.

Give up.

Just give up!

This is day 478. I still can't give up.

Just give up already!

You can't do anything to your life now. You did all your goals. Now, give up.

You have nothing to do now. Give up!

"Hey.." I opened my eyes and i saw her. Lola?

"'La...", i called.

"Apo", she smiled.

"How.. Am i dead?", i asked.

"No.. I am."

"You are..", i started crying when i realized i'm the only one who's alive in our family. My friends left me, too.

"You're not alone."

"I know.."

"Don't give up."

"No! I want to give up, lola.. I don't have any purpose here anymore! I did everything i could do.. and now, i don't have anything to do. Let me give up.. please", i pleased.