YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT // Kurt Cobain

Chapter 18

Seattle, WA

I: October 30, 1991

TW: MENTIONS OF ABORTION

Thomas and I decided to get away from the tour bus for a while, as tensions were unfortunately still running high with Greg and Kurt. "You're probably glad we're out of there right about now," Thomas remarked, and I nodded. We had resorted to walking down the three-mile path of Green Lake Park.

Thomas held out his cigarette for me to take a drag from, and when I declined his offer, his jaw dropped open in shock and surprise. "Who are you and what have you done with our lead singer?" he asked, and I laughed in response, wrapping my arm around his shoulders as we walked down the path. It was nice to finally have a friend in neutral territory.

"I'm trying to quit," I told him, and his eyebrows raised so high that his long, curly dark brown hair fully covered them. "There is no way that you, Erin Murbach, are trying to quit smoking. You are the literal queen of nicotine."

"I know, I know..." I joked, but took a deep breath before revealing, "I actually have a crucial reason to do so now." Thomas's facial expression was completely and utterly confused, but in a matter of a few seconds, he was once again gaping at me. "No way."

"Yes, way," I replied, insecurely wrapping my arms around my torso area.

"But you absolutely hate kids. You were about to murder that kid on the plane in cold blood!" Thomas reminded me, and I scrunched my eyes shut.

"Don't make this any harder than it already is," I pleaded, and Thomas smirked. "That's what she said."

I lightly smacked Thomas' shoulder as he began to laugh hysterically. "This is such an ironic situation! The child hater ends up pregnant!"

"SHHH!" I tried to quiet Thomas down, even though there was not another soul in sight. I guess I was paranoid that someone could be listening.

"Well, it's not gonna be a secret for much longer, I mean, you eventually have to tell Kurt," Thomas said. "Unless it's Greg's?" he gasped after a few seconds.

"No!" I exclaimed, getting more and more agitated by the minute. "It's Kurt's. But I don't even know how long this has been a thing, and it's not like I can get to the nearest Planned Parenthood without Freddie tracking me down."

Thomas nodded, scratching his chin in thought. He seemed pretty deep in his pondering but he came up with nothing. "Well, whatever the outcome, I'll always be here as a friend to support you," he said, pulling me in for a hug.

"Thanks, Tom."

***

A few hours later, Thomas and I had returned to the tour bus, as we had to have a rundown meeting for our show that night. I hesitantly sat down on the couch next to Kurt, who smiled as soon as we gained each other's eye contact. "Hey, babe," he greeted me, and I leaned in to kiss him.

"Really? Here?" Greg complained. "Oh, shut up," I replied as Kurt wrapped his arm around my waist. Thomas was very unsubtly miming at me, mouthing, "TELL HIM." I nodded, and he gave me a thumbs up in return. I leaned in a bit closer to Kurt to whisper in his ear. "Can we talk after this? It's important."

That caught Kurt's attention, as he nodded immediately. "Is something wrong?"

"Not necessarily."

"Now I have to know," Kurt mock-whimpered, and I patted his head. "There, there. You'll figure out soon."

The meeting went by fairly quickly, and before any closing remarks were made, Kurt was up and out of his seat with me in tow, tugging me into the bunks and locking the door.