YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT // Kurt Cobain

Chapter 9

Los Angeles, CA

June 24, 1989

I woke up to a pounding headache. I spent the rest of my night drinking my memories of that night away, hoping that both of us would forget about how I agreed to go on a date with Kurt the Blue Eyed Monster "You're So Incredibly Attractive Erin" Cobain. The names for him in my head were just getting longer and more complicated. I didn't forget the date, though, rather I had a memory with a side of hangover. I cracked an eye open to see a fold-out "table" in front of me, and on said table laid two Advil and a glass of water. I wondered who saw me last night. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and finding eyeliner all over my knuckles. So I forgot to take my makeup off, too. I probably looked like a raccoon.

I took the Advil and checked my watch-- 1:24pm-- and stood up to see if anyone else was in the trailer. I walked out of the bunk area to see Kurt sitting in a seat near the window, his classic cigarette resting between his fingers, his hair nice and greasy. Sexy.

"You, Erin Murbach, are a fucking nut job," Kurt stated blandly, and my jaw dropped.

"And what leads you to this statement, Kurt Cobain?" I attempted to clap back, but it sounded like a normal, dumb question. I needed to stop trying so hard, I literally just sounded like a fool on steroids.

"What led me to this statement was the way you clung to me trying to get me to tell you that I loved you and attempting to tell me you were sorry for calling me 'Creepy Eye Man' in your head... whatever the hell that means," Kurt chuckled, and I turned red almost immediately. I was a fucking idiot, getting drunk and high to cope with my feelings. But I couldn't help but also feel as if my intoxication perhaps aided in our potential relationship.

"You remembered? I'm surprised, you were gone yesterday."

"Not really, I have a high tolerance. It was just an act," Kurt put it simply, inhaling a drag from his cigarette, tapping it out the window that was cracked open. "But anyway, about that date..."

"I'll go," I immediately agreed, the words rolling off my tongue so easily.

"Okay, wear something that you'll be okay to sit on the ground in, I'll be right there," Kurt's face lit up, and he stood up so quickly that I thought he was going into shock. He probably was, knowing him. He'd been waiting for this moment for a while. I just had to wait and see if he really came through to show me that he could be genuine.

---

I nearly cried. Kurt had rented a cheap car from a local LA garage, and drove us out to Santa Monica Bay. I hadn't been to the beach in years. He parked the car in the parking lot near the boardwalk, and reached behind him into the back seats to grab something. His hand came back holding a picnic basket and beach blanket. Dear Lord, why did I ever doubt this man?

We walked down from the car, across the boardwalk to the beach. We set up the blanket and picnic, and Kurt unpacked the basket and handed me an almond butter and banana sandwich and a bag of... salt and vinegar chips. And then, he pulled out a bag of brownies. "These are special brownies," he whispered, and my eyes went wide when I realized they were pot brownies. I nearly screamed out loud. But Kurt put a finger to his lips, sitting down on the blanket and putting his shoes on the corners so the blanket wouldn't fling sand in our faces. I followed suit, removing my shoes and sitting down a little less than a foot away from him.

"So, Erin, how would you like to start off this date?" Kurt asked, laying across the picnic blanket, his eyes squinting in the summer sun.

"Maybe we could... get to know each other a bit? What's your family like?" I asked, and Kurt immediately grimaced.