YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT // Kurt Cobain

Chapter 23

Seattle, WA

March 12, 1994

When I got the call that Kurt was flying home from Rome, I immediately got into my car with a duffel bag full of whatever I might need for the next few days and sped up to Seattle from LA. Thomas sent me off with a kiss goodbye, wishing me luck. He was too good to me.

When I arrived at the Cobain residence, their nanny opened the door with Frances in his arms. "Hey, Erin, right?" he asked, and I nodded. "Yup, that's me."

"I'm Cali," he stuck his hand out to shake mine, "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," I replied, my eyes drawn to Frances' identical blue eyes to her father's.

"And this," Cali smiled, taking Frances' little hand between his fingers, "is the Bean Machine."

"Nice to meet you, Bean!" my voice reached an inhumanly high pitch, leading me to lowkey scare myself. Who was I? Since when did I talk to babies? And like them?

Cali welcomed me in, and got me some water while I looked around the place. It was an investment, I could tell you that much. The house was huge- four beds and four baths accompanied with an open floor plan with elaborate architecture. So this was what being a millionaire rock star was like. I couldn't help but feel jealous.

I joined Cali in the living room, and he let me sit next to Frances. She was just precious.

"I don't mean to pry," Cali said, "but why are you here? I know you and Kurt have history, but like... who are you?"

"It's all good," I laughed before proceeding to vomit out my life story.

"I toured with Kurt back in 1989, and we got involved but then I was unsure about what I wanted so he dropped us off the tour. A few years later around '91ish I got a call from Danny Goldberg asking us to tour with Nirvana again, so of course I agreed and we began touring with a new band name. So then Kurt met Courtney and that's when all of the heroin abuse started, and he got me to try it but I had a hallucination that caused me to attempt suicide. I'm alright, though. Anyway, then I got involved in this nasty ass love triangle with Kurt and my best friend at the time, Greg, the drummer of our band. Kurt and I became official and things were okay for a while until I found out I was pregnant with his kid. As soon as I told him, I had a miscarriage and confided in Greg and then Kurt stormed out, ending our relationship and winding up married to Courtney and having Frances nine months later. So yeah, that's about it. Any questions?"

Cali's jaw was on the floor. "Goddamn, woman, no wonder why you're here. You've gone through so much with him. The Rome OD must have hit you hard."

"Yeah," I agreed, watching Frances play with some blocks on the floor next to me. I helped her build the tower a little bit, and then she proceeded to knock it over, hysterically laughing.

Right at that moment, the front door flung open, Courtney marching into the living room with her sunglasses still on. She slowly lifted them onto her forehead, her face immediately looking disgusted at the sight of her daughter playing with her husband's ex girlfriend. I wanted to disappear.

"Nice to see you, Murbitch," Courtney spat, walking over and crouching down to meet her daughter, who was so innocently oblivious to her surroundings, playing with the blocks at her feet.

Courtney picked Frances up, swinging her legs up in the air, making Frances squeal, but immediately started crying. "Hi, Baby," Courtney cooed, "Mommy loves you. Mwah-mwah-mwah. Who's your mommy? Me."

I glanced over at Cali, who shrugged and took a sip of his tea. Our opinions on her were at least somewhat mutual. Although I had heard that Cali was one of the Cobains' most loyal friends. "Kurt!" Courtney snapped me out of my thoughts, "Come say hello to your fucking daughter! She probably won't recognize you though."