I shouldn't love you - Seo Changbin

-4-

Y/N POV

I don't even know how to reply to him. Or any of the other member's texts. Although every part of me wants to be with them, this could really damage them. Wouldn't it be best for me to not see them at all?

Your phone is going crazy.

Group chat 

Felix: Y/N come see us, we'll talk about this.

Seungmin: No one believes them anyway, besides there's no proof.

Chan: Y/n we knew this wouldn't be easy, but it'll get easier. 

Hyunjin: You'll be okay, they don't know who you are.

The thing is, you're not worried about yourself. Yes, the idea of the internet finding out about you and sending hate sounds awful. But what's worse is the idea that this could damage Straykids. It's not fair on them. 

Y/N: Can I come over later?

After a flood of 'yes' and 'of course' you think about what you're going to say. Should this carry on or come to an end? 

//later// 

"Guys, I'm so thankful for you all, but I'm worried," you tell them. You express all your concerns that you have, and that you've had throughout your times together. That you've always wanted to stay friends with them but always had to feel anxious about it. What if someone saw you? What if there's someone who knows you make the same journey late at night? What if you catch feelings and are unable to express them? You didn't tell them that last part, but it was a thought. Chan spoke for the group. "We've talked a lot, we all want you in our lives. But we all need to remember there are boundaries. We can't just go outside together, at least for now. We are thankful that you understand that we are busy but have stayed with us. Let's not give up okay?"

The night carried on as normal, enjoying yourselves freely in their dorm. Tonight you joined Felix in the kitchen making brownies, they turned out great. Finally, you all sat watching a movie, this time you were sat between Hyunjin and Changbin. Jeongin collected all the blankets and Felix brought his fresh brownies, it's the most relaxed you've felt in a  while. Although about halfway through the movie, you felt a strange feeling in your chest. By then everyone had sunk into fluffy blankets or cuddled next to someone. In your case, you and Changbin were really close. Hyunjin ended up leaning the other way, whilst you were pretty much leaning against Changbin. Being so close with them is normal, but tonight felt strangely different. 

The movie ended and you all did your usual routine, the boys would say their goodbyes complimented with some hugs and Changbin would walk you to the door handing you your coat. "I'm sorry about not being able to walk," he says with a hint of guilt. "Hey, no worries, it's safer this way" you replied, putting your arms out for a hug. You share your final goodbyes and leave for home, but this time in a taxi.