it was a great love (one for the ages) / DISCONTINUED

A Million Years

A/N: sorry I suck at updating... in all honesty, i've really lost the motivation to finish this (you have my ADHD to thank for that). here's a Mertina chapter because i miss them ! i promise i'm trying my best right now but it might take longer for me to update. thank you for your patience and im really sorry to keep you waiting for so long.

Addison and Meredith, along with other interns and residents, were sitting in the OR gallery on a surgery. Cristina was assisting on a reconstructive surgery on a heart with Teddy.
Meredith worriedly kept her eyes on Cristina, twisting her fingers around. Addison noticed and put her hand on Meredith's shoulder.

"She's going to be fine, Meredith."
Meredith reluctantly pulled her eyes away and looked into Addison's.
"I know, I mean, she's Cristina. I know she'll be fine, but I'm just worried."
"That's understandable, we've all been through a lot. But she wouldn't have been cleared for surgery if she wasn't ready."
Meredith nodded. "Yeah. You're right, thank you."
Addison smiled. "Of course."

And what happened next, Addison wasn't sure if it was perfect or completely terrible timing. Jackson accidentally backed up into an instrument tray, sending it to the ground with a painfully loud clatter. The tools bounced out and spread across the floor next to the unconscious patient. When Meredith saw Cristina duck to the ground, she jumped up to get a better look through the window.

Over the intercom, the gallery heard groans and complaints from the surgeons below.
"All right, are we alright?" Teddy asked firmly.
"Sorry. We're fine. We're fine," Jackson called out.
"It's just a tray. The aortic cannula is dislodged. Avery, some suction right here, please," Teddy directed. "I need a purse string in the aorta. Get some more visualization in here, please."
"Got it."
"Yang, come help me."
When Teddy didn't get a response, she looked up. "Yang?"
She moved her head around, aiming her headlight to the floor where Cristina's shoes peeked out from behind the blue medical drape.
"Cristina, talk to me-- oh, damn it," Teddy said to Jackson. "Grab the aortic cannula."

Meredith turned to look at Addison helplessly.
"Go," Addison nodded, "go, she needs you."
Meredith shot her a small relieved smile, appreciating her understanding girlfriend. She raced out of the gallery and ran to the scrub room, mumbling apologies as she maneuvered through the hallway. She put on the proper gear before entering the OR, making a beeline towards Cristina's frozen body.

"Cristina, you are okay," Teddy said. She knew from her experience in the army that her intern was having a PTSD episode from the hospital shooting.

Meredith crouched down to Cristina, who was breathing heavily. She pulled off Cristina's mask, carelessly tossing it away.
"Cristina?"
Cristina continued staring straight ahead. Meredith internally groaned as she laid down on the dirty OR floor.
"Cristina."
"I can't be in here. I can't," Cristina breathed out.
"Okay, so let's go. Let's get out of here."
Cristina blinked a couple of times. "I can't-- I c-- I can't feel anything."
"I know. I know. Come with me."
"No, no. I... I can't move. I can't move my legs."
Meredith glanced down to Cristina's feet, then looked back up. The monitor next to Teddy started beeping erratically.
"Um..." Meredith grabbed her friend's hand and pulled the rubber glove off. "F-f-feel my hand. Take my hand."
Cristina whimpered as she felt Meredith place her fingertips on top of her own. Meredith's hands felt cold, like always.
"Do you feel that?"
Cristina stared at their touching hands. "Uh-huh."
Meredith nodded. "You're okay. We're gonna go when you're ready. Okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, yeah."
"Okay. So you tell me when you're ready, yeah?" Meredith smiled softly. Cristina nodded.

---

A little while later, Addison stood in the hallway waiting for Cristina and Meredith to come out of the OR. Meredith held Cristina's hand with one of her own while her other was wrapped around Cristina's shoulder. Addison gave Cristina a comforting smile and then walked on Meredith's side as they made their way to the locker room.

"Is it over?" a man asked as he stood up from a chair. Addison assumed that he was the family of the patient.
"Is she okay?"
Cristina stammered, "Oh, uh, I-- I'm-- I'm sorry."
"What?"
"No, no, no. She's fine," Meredith cleared up the confusion. "The doctors are still working, so someone will be out when they're finished."
Addison followed behind Cristina as she left. Meredith finished conversing with the husband before catching up to them.

Cristina headed straight for the bench once she entered the locker room. Addison stayed outside of the door since she figured that the two interns wanted privacy, but she wanted to make sure that everything was okay before she left. Meredith sat next to Cristina, rubbing her hand on her back. Addison smiled softly to Meredith before turning to leave, but Cristina's voice stopped her.

"Montgomery?"
Addison turned back around.
"Yeah?"
"Stay? Please?"
Addison stepped in and closed the door behind herself. "I will."
She wasn't sure what to do, so she stood up against the wall. Cristina patted the open bench next to her. Addison quietly walked around and sat down. Meredith gave her a small smile, which she returned.

Teddy appeared in the doorway after a while. The three women inside looked up.
"Is she dead?" Cristina asked in a low voice.
"She's fine. She'll be fine," Teddy nodded. She glanced at Meredith and Addison.
"Can you two give us a minute?"
The two women in question shared a look with each other. Meredith stood up and gave Cristina a kiss on the head and Addison patted her shoulder before leaving her with Teddy.

"What if she doesn't recover from this?" Meredith asked nervously as the two settled on a bed in an empty hallway. "This is my fault, I never should have made her operate on Derek."
Addison hugged Meredith. "You don't need to worry about that. I know she'll be okay, Cristina is a great doctor and she has so much support from you. You are an amazing friend, Meredith. What happened that day was not your fault."
Addison heard sniffles and pulled Meredith closer to her own body. She knew that Meredith just needed a while to cry out all of her tears, so she stayed quiet and played with golden locks of hair while her girlfriend's heart-wrenching sobs filled the air.

The cries soon subsided into small sniffles. Meredith leaned against her girlfriend's chest as she wiped away her remaining tears.
"Feel a little better?" Addison asked softly.
"Yeah. Thank you."
"Of course. I love you."
"I love you, too."

Derek walked into the hallway.
"Hey, I heard about Cristina. Is she all right?"
Meredith nodded, though Addison saw a growing angry look on her face. "No, she's not all right. No one's all right."
Addison gave Meredith a questioning look.
"Mer, I need to talk to you."
"Just leave it alone, Derek. It was one night in jail."
Addison was very confused. "Jail?"
Derek sighed in defeat. Meredith continued.
"You drive too fast. Just forget about it."
"Wait, hold on," Addison put her hand up. "Derek, how many more times have you been in jail after I bailed you out?"
Meredith turned to Addison. "Wait, you bailed him out, too?"
"'Too'?"
"Yeah, I bailed him out one time, but he told me he would stop," Addison said the last part to Derek.
"What the hell, Derek?" Meredith scoffed.
"I don't want to talk about that. Don't worry about it."
"'Don't worry about it'?" Meredith drawled. "All I do is worry all the time. I spend every minute of every day worrying that I'm gonna get a phone call that you've wrapped your car around a pole. That's why I left you in jail this morning, so that just for a little while, I would know that you weren't dying."
Meredith pulled out of Addison's grasp and stormed away. Derek tried to go after her, but Addison held him back.
"Don't, just let her have some time."
Derek sighed.
"How many times?"
"Four..."
Addison shook her head.
"You know why she's worried, right?" She's lost so much already, and we came this close," Addison put her index finger and thumb together, creating a small space in between, "to losing you that day on the OR table. She can't lose any more, Derek. And I can't lose you, either."
Derek wrapped Addison in a hug.
"I'm sorry. I'll stop."
"You'd better."
"I do. I promise."

Addison pulled away, wiping her face.
"I've gotta..."
Derek nodded, stepping out of the door way.
"Yeah, go. Hey, did you ask her yet?"
"No, not yet. It's not a good time yet."
"Okay. Keep me updated, yeah?"
Addison smiled. "I will. Do you need a ride?"
"No, I'm good. I think I'm going to stay here for a patient, anyway."
"Okay. Goodnight, Derek."
"G'night, Addy. Say goodnight to Meredith for me."
"I will."

Addison left, taking in deep breaths. She stuck her hand into her pocket, feeling the soft velvet of the box for comfort. It took every muscle in her body to refrain from blurting out the question every time she saw Meredith-- which is a lot of the time-- but she could wait. For Meredith, she'd wait a million years.