All Our Lives ✔

11|

His car was abandoned outside of town. He'd been ambushed, his wallet and watch taken.

A short while ago, we were laughing, watching every available series together, and mutually obsessing over each eyebrow twitch from Sebri.

Then he'd slipped right through my fingers, into the unforgiving night.

A night he hadn't survived.

Sebri and I had grabbed onto each other at the news.

We'd collapsed into bed.

Into dreams.

Nothing pretty or kind waited for us.

Sean's mom knocked on our door the following morning. I got there first. She was trembling, her hair wet as if she'd just walked out of the shower. She tried to speak but only managed to sob. There was too much anger in her eyes, though, for me to assume that any kind of sympathetic reaction might be welcome.

Only when Sebri appeared at my side did the woman speak, dismissing me—her target found.

"He didn't want me to know that you'd broken up with him. He didn't want me thinking badly of you. But I know my Sean. What hurts the most...is that he died that way. His body broken, and his heart. If only you'd been honest with yourself, Sebrina, and never dragged my son into your denial."

She'd been pale with shock and still was, but Sebri showed nothing now. Remorse least of all.

I could read her so well, it was as if she'd spoken aloud: I'm not the one who murdered your son.

"I don't want you...at the funeral. I don't ever want to see you again," the woman whispered, shuddering.

Being an adult and a parent, she was wrong to lash out at a teenager. But her son was dead, and I was speechless.

Sebri's not responsible! I wanted to yell at her, to rage.

Nothing came out.

"It's weird to explain, but...she's different when you're not there, Kera. I mean, a different Sebri. It's like being in the middle of a field of flowers that suddenly die, but you can't see what's happened because it's dark. You just know something's off...it's cold."

"Can I ask what the hell that means?" I said, laughing. "You're saying she shuts down, I guess?"

Sean's gaze was serious as he shook his head. "No...just a part of her turns off. It's not the same. That's why I like it when it's all three of us."

"You have a huge crush on her, though..."

"Yeah, and nobody likes to shrivel around the girl they like."

It wasn't an easy memory to shrug off, only adding to my unease, and I didn't know why I thought of it then.

Although we couldn't go against his mother's wishes, we decided to pick a spot with Sean's funeral in view. High on a hill, dressed in black, hands clasped.

My attention was on his mother, standing apart from the other mourners.

For once I didn't have a glare for Angie's red head, skipping over it. There were other students present. More than I would've even expected.

Something—the strange feeling at the back of my neck, an edge in the air—refused to let me relax.

"He would've hated this," Sebri said as his casket was lowered into the ground.

I didn't understand what she meant. She couldn't mean his funeral specifically... My brief glance at Sebri revealed her attention on our joined hands. I frowned.