All Our Lives ✔

14|

"I told you there was another—"

"You failed to share that it was a woman!" He had purpled with rage.

"I did not think you such a man that it should matter. I loved her first, and I shall love her always."b

"I have been fooled!"

"Where, tell? 'Do not waste your efforts on me.' You were well-cautioned, husband. If you were fooled, you were fooled by your own self."

∞

I needed senior year to be over already.

Though it wasn't all bad.

Willa made a point of saying hello in the halls and pulling us into conversations between classes. Hannah gave verbal beatings to anyone out of line. Lucy was quieter beside us, but she did have information when we asked.

Like the fact that Sean's mother had made a scene at the police station because his case didn't seem to be going anywhere—no one was any closer to finding out who had killed him.

"Maybe you should get off the Kebri train for a little bit..." I suggested to Lucy. She adamantly refused.

Colin, who we hadn't seen since we'd gone to his brother's club, took me aside before lunch. I'd just spotted Sebri walking among the students in a dress and hat from an era I couldn't even guess at, so I wasn't in a talkative mood. "Normal" was becoming something I had to project; it no longer applied to me.

"I shouldn't have left you that night. I should've stayed—" Colin started.

It took me a minute to understand what he was talking about.

"Look, Colin, you're a really good friend to care so much about what Sean would've wanted you to do, but—"

"Sean wouldn't have wanted me anywhere near you, actually," Colin said, smiling. "It was more complicated than that for him. I'm not saying I knew what the hell was going on in his head. Anyway, this isn't about him anymore. What's happening to you isn't right. Somebody needs to step up and Hannah might be a one-woman army—a lot like Sebri, even, in that way—but more people should be minding their own business. You haven't done anything bad. I mean, yeah, okay, Sebri has a temper. But it's much better than it used to be. I don't know if I was right or wrong to say yes when you asked to go...but I hope we're okay."

I nodded. "Yeah, we're more than okay. You seem really nice, it's just that I don't trust nice lately—even less than I trust people who are rude to my face. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate it. Thanks for being decent about everything. I'll remember it." I'd remember him as one of the few who weren't assholes to me, for sure.

As he nodded and headed for the cafeteria, I said, "Hey, Colin. You ever thought about going into politics?"

He gave me a confused look that was quickly swallowed by a grin. "The life expectancy is a little too long for me, but uh...thanks?" Then he gave a playful shudder, which made me laugh.

I crossed my arms, staring after him. My smile didn't last.

It rarely did, these days.

∞

"So you think that when we die, we're going to come back as something else?" I tried. It was desperate and foolish to pretend.

"That's not the kind of reincarnation I mean, no."

She said it. The word.

I closed my eyes. "I called you Adelaide."

"Yes."