All Our Lives ✔

3|

I went, of course, for a glimpse of the girl who had so fascinated me.

Sebri was always receptive when I started a conversation, but I got the strong sense that she was torn between the part of her that wanted to figure me out and the part that wanted to put as much distance between us as possible. My hope was that some time away from a school setting would help her relax around me.

"Who's the guy who drops you off at school sometimes?" Sebri asked.

We'd picked a deserted balcony to sit under the stars. There was more light outside than in, and fresh air was preferred over air that smelled like an angry skunk might've passed through.

"Oh, Jim? My stepdad. Tends not to get too involved, which I like, so I'm cool with him. Mom and I don't need a dude getting in our way." Even if we both loved that dude to pieces.

"She sleeps with that dude, though."

"Thank you, Captain Jerkass."

I gripped her hand, lowering a marker to the back.

"I didn't ask for your number," Sebri said. "I don't have a phone where I live."

What she did have was a nasty bruise on her collarbone.

Actually, I had no phone of my own either, and I wouldn't risk her calling home and being overwhelmed by Jim's...Jimness. Or Mom's thousand questions.

"This is just an excuse to hold your hand." I drew a heart, and when her eyes skittered away from the faded scar captured in the outline to settle on some distant point a million miles away, I kept drawing.

"Anyone ever tell you you're cute?" she said.

"Just my mom."

"Like I said...cute."

I shimmied. "Does this mean we can make out?"

"What do you know about making out?"

"Everything! I've done it a lot!" It was the only thing I had done at that point.

She made a thoughtful noise.

"I have, really!" I reached for her shoulders. "I'll show you."

Sebri gently stopped me. "No. I've gone a lot further, so it wouldn't be right."

"Wouldn't be right?" I said, confused.

"You're young."

"I'm fourteen! I'm older than that in my head, trust me." I wiggled my eyebrows, Creep 1 and Creep 2.

"Not as old as I am," she said under her breath.

"Oh, I get it," I said as it clicked. "But you're not that much older. What difference does it make if you're a virgin or not? I won't be one forever."

Sebri rubbed her split eyebrow. "You should take your time and make sure you're ready. I wish I'd done that."

"How old were you?" I asked carefully.

"Not old enough. I was lashing out, angry. It wasn't about me. I never felt anything. So it sucked...I only ended up hurting myself more." She shrugged, as if her pain wasn't important. "I did a lot of things just because I liked the idea of my mother cursing me until her brain popped."

"Your mom wasn't good to you?"

"Might as well tell you." It was clear Sebri thought she'd be scaring me off. "I was homeschooled. My mother was my teacher. She thought of herself as a student of heaven and expected to be obeyed."