Ebb and Flow - Book 1

Three

Trigger warning - Explanation of Gulf's past childhood traumas (there is NO sexual abuse).

Popping a scent suppressant pill under his tongue, Gulf scrunched his nose at the bitter taste. Yuck. It was worth it though. Without the medication, the evening of work would be unbearable, full of groping, sweaty hands and leering eyes that only fetishised him. Alpha's really could be the worst, especially when there was alcohol in the mix too.

As an omega, since his second gender had revealed at fourteen Gulf had grown up being low-key objectified and degraded by alpha's - it really was the status quo in society. True, the Equality Act in Thailand 16 years earlier had officially levelled the playing field for alphas, betas and omegas in so many important ways: rights to equal pay, egality across marriage and family laws, outlawing discrimination, and more. But - just as the poison of racism still festered after the overthrow of Apartheid, or sexism after the travails of the Suffragettes, so did the hate crimes and discrimination that being an omega added up to frequently. No matter what the law said, centuries-old beliefs and deeply cemented social norms were harder to change, especially in older generations. Omegas were less, lower, sub. Good to be looked at, good to do their duty, good to cater to the needs of alphas, but not really good for much themselves. So went the discourse.

There were so many contradictions, that's what infuriated Gulf most. Alphas and omegas could attend university together - as he himself did, with his select but mixed group of friends - but no matter what final degree he achieved, his CV would always have to work twice as hard as any alpha's. They were officially equal, but in reality were very much a different class.

Gulf had long since taken the decision that he would never try to prove himself to anybody, only answering to himself. He was diffident to the point of arrogance, independent to the point of anarchic, but he was free.

This wasn't all his own work, he - just like the blonde-haired alpha on the other side of Bangkok - was a product of his environment and life experiences. Having lost his mother to tuberculosis as a small boy, Gulf and his two younger brothers had initially been taken in by their maternal uncle. Struggling to support the three boys and maintain his small laundrette business, this arrangement with their uncle lasted less than a year, before one humid night, the three children were woken from their beds, driven by tuk tuk to the gates of a government building, and left silently, in the suffocating, smoggy pre-dawn air.

A single tear had fallen from his uncle's eye as he turned from them in resignation. Gulf had felt a dull thud of hatred enter his heart when he saw it - and the first layer of his protective shell had been formed there and then.

They were wards of the state. Separated quickly from both brothers, arms clinging to each other in vain, Gulf found himself alone in the world. And he had been ever since.

In the state run homes he lived in he had not once allowed himself to grow close to anyone. Self- preservation had activated at such an early age that any warmth or offers of friendship were outright rejected. He was prickly, difficult to be around, disliked - but he felt safer that way. He would choose a beating from an older alpha boy, sooner than a kindly hug from a sympathetic phi from the staff.

As soon as he was of legal age, Gulf had registered with a hospitality agency for casual work in order to save money to go to university. He was regularly offered shifts - his good looks assured that, and as he matured he also learnt a degree of self-restraint in public. He was still as angry with the world as ever, but managed to find a balance that enabled him to get through most days unscathed. This also applied to his eventual entry to university this year, at the age of twenty-two. Having surprised many by achieving the entrance grades required to study Business Management (a sure sign that none of those around him knew him well enough to identify his sharp intelligence and dogged work ethics), Gulf had finally been able spread his wings and escape.

Living in a shared dorm room, Gulf surprised himself by making a small but firm group of friends in the first weeks of the semester. Mild, War, Yin and Bow - in them, Gulf found souls who were similarly 'alternative', in whatever way, and bore no judgement towards him. They were a mixture of alphas, betas and omegas yet there was no hierarchy or distinction. Like a microscopic modern utopia. Calling them 'friends' was a new experience for Gulf and - although he hadn't shared much of himself with them - that was enough to give a rare sense of peace when he thought of it.

So it was, on this Summer evening, that Gulf straightened his shirt collar, nodded goodbye to War and Mild, and started his journey by bus to tonight's high society work event: a charity fundraising concert courtesy of Thailand's premier airline, Wings of Jongcheveevat.