Eliuteria

Chapter 38

A pool of blood had formed under the cot where Ro's blood still dripped to the floor. It was quiet enough that I could hear the dripping. Behind the closed door, I occasionally heard the muffled voices of the Morri preparing to leave. They had left me alone, but I knew it wouldn't be long before the door opened. They would tell me I needed to leave with them, but that wasn't going to happen. I would not leave Ro here alone. The Morri did not seem to hold much hope that Ro would wake. Maybe they were scared to hope, I knew they loved him. Most of them had known him for so long they'd all become family. Most of them had sworn their lives to him... I knew that wasn't something they did lightly. Invincible though they seemed, the Morri were still mortal and Ro lost a lot of blood. His face was pale and ashen and he hadn't moved at all. He was still breathing though and as long as he was breathing, his body would continue to heal. When I felt like I could trust myself to stand again, I pulled the thin blanket, now filthy off of his body and tossed it onto the ground. I picked up the cleanest cloth in the room, wet it with water, and began to wipe away the dirt from Ro's face. I continued down to his chest and abdomen where blood had dried to his skin, rinsing and wetting the cloth over again until his skin was clean and free of any sign the traumatic injury he experienced. Except for a pinkish mark on his left hip, there was no sign he'd even been hurt, no sign that he was currently hanging between life and death. It simply looked like he was sleeping. When the knock on the door came, I straightened, preparing for the fight and turned from Ro to face the door as it opened. I expected only one, but it wasn't just Tau that walked through the door. Ahren, Xander, Mekhai, and Keon followed him in. The five large Morri spread out around the small room, leaning casually against shelving or the wall. None of them looked well. All were nearly pale as Ro from lack of sleep and worry. Ahren looked the worse, he still had a bandage covering his eye, if they attempted to heal him, it hadn't worked. Even exhausted as they appears, I felt caged in like prey as they filled the room. Had they all come in here to drag me away kicking and screaming?Silence hung between us for a long moment. I refused to be the first to break it. "Has there been any change?" Mekhai asked finally. He did not sound optimistic and it was on the tip of my tongue to lie and tell him that Ro had been stirring some or that he was muttering something in his sleep, but I bit back the lie and shook my head. At the confirmation that Ro showed no signs of waking, a weight settled over the room. "Juleen is losing control of his people," Tau said before Mekhai could ask another question. "For all his reign, he has only cared for the elite, but even they have families and homes that were destroyed because of his actions. They do not trust him and we must act while he weak and lacks support." "An army is on the way from Eoezelle. They will arrive within the cycle," Xander said, stepping forward from the wall he'd been leaning against."How do you know?"Xander gave me a look at implied the question was stupid, but answered it anyway. "I met with a contact. The information can be trusted."It wasn't that I didn't believe him, I did. I just didn't understand why Eoezelle would send an army to fight for Juleen. Ro told me Tau's father had denounced him, but it still surprised me that Eoezelle would intervene in the matters of Aurael."I'm sorry," I said to Tau. He shook his head as though the actions of his father, his family, didn't matter. "This is not about me...well, may a little It's mostly about making sure the humans in Eoezelle do not get it in their heads they could successfully uprise. He is only inserting himself to protect his way of life."I hadn't considered what would happen in Sieraul and Eoezelle if the resistance was successful in Aurael. So many humans had died, but Juleen had destroyed a city he feared it so much and that gave the resistance power. "Juleen must surrender or die before the army shows up.""Will they just turn around and go home if he dies?""Maybe," Tau answered. "Probably not. But if we control the city when they get here, it will be a lot easier to keep it that way." Tau paused and met my eyes, leveling me with his gaze. "You understand this means we cannot stay here any longer, we must leave and regroup if we hope to succeed.""I understand."Someone snorted, Xander or maybe Ahren, I didn't know for sure who because I was focused on Tau who narrowed his eyes and stood a little straighter. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he asked, "You do?"I did. This was bigger than any one of us. I knew Ro would not want them to stay here when doing so could mean all they worked for was in vain. "Of course.""I can help you write a note to Ro explaining and of course we'll leave some food and water. Once we're regrouped and its safe, we can send someone back for him," Keon explained. "We should work quickly, it'll be dark soon.""I'm not writing a note." Keon's brow pulled together, confused for a moment. "I'm not leaving.""This should be good," Ahren muttered to Xander who laughed in response. I knew Tau heard them, but he didn't acknowledge that anyone else was in the room. Tau's lips spread into a humorless grin. He'd expected me to fight him on this. I doubted it surprised any of them. "You're coming with us," he said in a way that left no room for argument but I was no longer scared of Tau or any of them. "We need you to lead the way to the hovercraft," Keon said in an apparent attempt to keep the peace. "I can show you exactly where it is. Pull up a map on your screen."Keon shifted, pulling out his holoscreen to do just as I suggested, but stopped short when Tau grunted, "No.""No," I repeated. His refusal to have a discussion set me off. I knew it would be difficult to convince Tau to let me stay behind, but I'd expected him to at least hear me out. When he didn't, I snapped. Anger that had been growing and simmering since I watched Mia die erupted out of me. I didn't yell, my voice was low and cold when I asked, "What do you even care if I stay? Or if I live for that matter, Tau. You expected me to die in all of this and now you want to pretend to care? You didn't care about my life when you asked me to spy on your enemies. You sure as fuck didn't care when I was being tortured—when Juleen drove a blade through my stomach, when he brought to me to edge death and refused to let me die."Tau flinched back as if he'd been slapped. For a moment, I imagined how satisfying it would have been to slap him. "You don't get a say in this."A cold expression settled on Tau's face, one I'd grown used to seeing when I said or did something he didn't like. The expression no longer effected me though, and I met his cold eyes with a hateful glare of my own. He smirked. "Hate me all you want, Morrisi. You're coming with us. Make peace with it and be ready to go in an hour."He turned and left the room without another word. "Wasn't as bad as I expected," Ahren said and when they looked at him he shrugged. "What?," he said. "She hit me." Xander shoved Ahren and then sighed and said, "I guess I'll go deal with that." Mekhai and Keon both stayed as did Ahren who sat back quietly, not involving himself in any further conversation. For a moment, I didn't know why he stayed and then I remembered that it was Ahren who was sitting at Ro's bedside when I arrived. I wanted to know more about him, how he came to know Ro and care so much, but it didn't seem appropriate to ask."You agree with Tauzil?" I asked no one in particular.Keon walked around the cot until he was standing close to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. He was by far the gentlest Morri I'd ever met. "We do not know one another well, but I have heard much of you. I am certain that Eliro would prefer you come with us, he would want you protected. Tau has his own reasons for wanting the same." He paused and smiled at me before continuing. "I want to be clear, you have a right to your anger. Neither of them has done right by you, neither protected you as they should have. After all that, you risked your safety to send us back here after them and then you came back yourself. Tau is well aware of the many ways he has failed you and is only trying to do whats best for you now. His owes you his life and wants to make it right." Keon paused to pull a face and shrugged. "He's just shit at showing it.""You think I should forgive him?"Keon smiled and shook his head. "After all you've gone through you can't make it that easy for them."I smiled too. I liked the way he said them, like they would both be around. "You think Ro will live?""I do.""If it was me lying on that bed, do you think Ro would leave?""No," he answered without hesitating for a moment. His candor was refreshing. "He wouldn't leave you."I looked to Mekhai, wanting his opinion but scared to ask. I was worried he would tell me he thought Ro would die and I didn't think I could bear to hear it. He must have seen the question in my eyes because Mekhai took a step toward Ro and placed his palm on his forehead and closed his eyes in concentration. "It's been hours and he hasn't seized or shown any signs of crashing again. I can't find anything wrong. He just feels weak. Injuries like this take a toll. Its a good sign, but he's already been without water a few days and if he doesn't wake up soon it'll be the death of him. I believe if you stay and could get him to drink some his chances are much better.""Then there's no other choice. I have to stay."There was a heavy silence between us for a moment and then Keon nodded in agreement."I'm going to speak with Tau," Mekhai said. "Try to make him okay with this.""I want to see this," Ahren said with a chuckle and followed Mekhai out of the room. "Keon, can I show you on your holoscreen where to find the craft?" Without Tau to stop him, Keon pulled up the screen and showed me a map of the city. Though I knew the city well, I wasn't familiar with reading maps and it took me a moment to orient myself. Once Keon pointed to our location and I was able to locate a couple familiar landmarks, it was easy to point to the exact spot I'd left the craft. "You're positive?""Yes," I said quickly and then hesitated remembering. "But I told Matias where it was. He was going to call for Eda, but she's not here and I don't know what happened. He could have taken it an run."I would not have blamed him it he did just that. It was a risk for him to call for Eda and with the hovercraft, he could have gotten everyone sheltered in that shop safely out of the city. "If it was shielded, it's more likely he never found it and went back to shelter. Or never looked for it at all."Keon then showed me the location of two different safe houses that he believed were still standing within the city, just in case it became necessary. Fewer people move through them, so it was less likely to be leaked. Keon didn't say it, but with human being killed on sight, it was unlikely anyone would have had a chance to share the information if they wanted to. "We'll be staying in the house at the north of the city. It's the best location and well-equipped. If you he wakes and you can get there, go for it, but this house on the west is closer to us. It should be stocked with food and water. If you get there you should be good to rest for a day or two. You may be able to shower, if the blasts didn't mess up the supp—""What is this?" Tau demanded, coming through the door. Tau and I had a history of communicating through shouts, we were more similar than I liked to admit, so it didn't surprise me that he came in yelling. He looked from Keon to me and back again, disbelief coloring his expression. "I leave for five minutes and she's got you all convinced to let her stay?" "It should be her decision," Keon said before I could return his shout."It should be her decision?" He repeated with a scoff. "Look at her! She is hurt, there is an open wound on her arm. She hasn't slept in days probably and she is no condition to take care of anyone else.His words dampened my fury. It was hard to be angry with him when he was right and it more clear now that all of this came from a good place, from a place of caring. Sleep hadn't been coming easily for some time, even before nightmares of being tied to Juleen's chair haunted my nights. Everything he said was true; I was hurt, tired, and I was scared but, he wasn't right to force me to leave. He was trying to protect me or make amends, but this wasn't the way. "Can we have a moment?" I asked Keon. He looked glad to no longer be part of the conflict and edged out of the room and closed the door behind him."You're right," I said and unraveled the torn piece of cloth that had been tied around my arm. The scrape was deep and stretched from my elbow to near my wrist. It had begun to scab over, but looked as painful as it felt. Tau hissed at the sight of it. Keon said Tau felt indebted to me and that he wanted to make things right so I thought asking for his help with my arm would help him as much as me. "I'm not okay." I sighed. "Will you heal my arm?""Of course," he said quietly, taken aback by my admission. Even with as much time as we spent together, it wasn't often that I let my guard down around Tau. He walked to chair and sat down while I sat across from him, perched on the edge of Ro's cot. Shouting had never gotten me anywhere with Tau though, not for lack of trying. He would just shout back, louder until one or the other of us stormed away. There were never apologies between us, just time to cool down before we moved forward. I hoped a different approach may convince him to back down. While he healed my arm I told him everything that happened since I last left the loft. Mia's death and how I killed Faedra and then went for Juleen but came up short."You were quick," he said, pride shining in his eyes. "Not quick enough," I said and took a deep breath before continuing. "I know you feel responsible for what he did to me. I got myself tied to that chair." I didn't tell him everything Juleen had done to me, he witnessed the worst of it and I wasn't ready to relive any of it. My hands ached at the memory of his hands breaking each of my fingers and I shook the thought away. I didn't know if I'd ever be ready to talk about it. But it felt nice to talk through the rest of everything with Tau. He listened without judgment or pity. Whatever I had done or gone through he'd heard, seen, or maybe done worse."I played a part in it. And so did he," Tau nodded to Ro. "We shouldn't have sent you back that night, you should have been taken out of the city with Aerias but..." he shook his head, "I thought we had more time. I regret letting you go back."It was on the tip of my tongue to forgive him, but I couldn't form the words. I knew he was being genuine, but I couldn't tell him it was okay. I wished they hadn't let me return that they'd taken me out of the city with Aerias. I knew it wasn't his fault, but forgiving him wasn't as easy. So I continued with my story, filing him in on how we left the city and made it to Ominira. "I sent them back to aid you and Ro. I thought I could get us there, but..." I took a shaky breath. "Fairyn is dead because I sent Mekhai, Xander, Keon, Ahren away. It was my choice and because of it, she's dead. I can't let it be for nothing, Tau. She died because I wanted him to live."He was silent after that. I wasn't sure if he didn't know what to say or if he knew there was nothing he could say. "Thank you for healing my arm.""No other injuries?" I shook my head and Tau smiled. "And did you get to see Aerias?" "Yes, he's already gained some weight. He looks healthy and seemed so happy. Already has friends and fits right in.""That's what you focus on. Aerias is alive and happy because of you. And those girls? They're only alive because of you and your choices. Grieve the loss, learn from your mistakes, but you have to celebrate your victories.""Thank you for saying that.""Do you remember what you last said to me?" He asked. "You said, 'given the chance, you would be happy to call me a friend.'""I remember.""I know I have let you down and that we do not often see eye to eye, but I am lucky if I can call you a friend." I smiled at him, the words hitting closer to my heart than I expected. Tau and I were similar in a lot of ways. We were both passionate and a little hot headed. We were both generally reserved with our emotions and I didn't think either of us had many friends. I could count mine on one hand. "I'm scared of losing Ro," he admitted, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. My eyes widened at the admission, but I quickly schooled my expression. I knew Tau cared deeply for Ro, but I had not expected that kind of honesty from him. "He has been my closest friend and it is hard for me to imagine losing one friend, much less two." He cleared his throat and shifted again in his seat. "I know what its like to lose the person you love and you have already lost enough, you should not have to know what it feels like to lose that.""I..." I was really at a loss for words. Not sure what to say, I leaned forward off the cot and wrapped my arms awkwardly around his neck while he sat in the chair. I didn't think Tau was much of a hugger, but he wrapped his arms around my back and returned the hug. "Thank you, Tau.""Lena?" "Yes?""Is that a gun?""Yes," I said and pulled away from him, grinning. "I was prepared to shoot you."He laughed loudly then. "Of course you were." He became more serious. "You remember the safe houses Keon showed you?" "Yes.""You need to move as soon as you can, understand?" I nodded my agreement. "And try to wake him up. Talk to him, shake him every now and then to see if you can get him to stir. There's a holoscreen, but don't try to call for anything from here. If you can't make it north safely, head to west house and call once your there. If you don't show up at the house north of city and we don't hear from you, we'll come looking back here as soon as we can. I can't promise when that will be though." "I understand."Tau stood from the chair and pulled me in for another quick hug. "Be safe, Morrisi." "You too, Tau. Stay alive."