Rafe
It's about 10 o'clock now. The ward's quiet, the soft sound of the nurses shoes clicking down the corridor, the faint beeping of machines, the odd muffled moan or sob. And still I can't sleep. I just sit here, my eyes fixated on the end of my bed, my legs aching, and side throbbing. I can't do this anymore.
From now on I'll watch Danny and Evelyn move on, get married, have kids and I won't even be able to fly away, I won't ever be able to move on, I'll never be able to sore and forget everything, I'll never fly like the birds, I'll just watch them fly from a park bench as my life is eaten away in front of me. Alone. Alone forever. The sky is too far away, the clouds too distant.
I'm too broken to even cry anymore.
I am nothing.
I force myself out of bed. I am nothing. I pull on some clothes Evelyn brought around a couple of days ago. I am nothing. I swallow the pain and force open the cubicle door. I am nothing. I walk calmly down the empty corridor. I am nothing. I stumble into the main hospital. I am nothing. Shuffling past the crying patients and the desperate nurses. I am nothing. I pass straight through the front entrance. I am nothing. I suck in the cold night air. I am nothing. I start walking. I am nothing. I start to run. I am nothing. The pain is getting worse now, but I like it. I am nothing. The tears start streaming down my face. I am nothing. I run as far as I can. I am nothing. I keep running. I am nothing. My visions blurring now. I am nothing. I pump my legs even harder. I am nothing. Everything's going black now. I am nothing. I hit the floor, my body screaming at me, shivering and convulsing on the tarmac, the cold air wrapping around me. I am nothing.
I am nothing.
