this is home; r.a.b

002. often, i am upset

(the real story is set fifth year so this will be a quick skim)

within the first few months, reia and roxy still remained best friends, occasionally meeting eachother at the black lake to chat. slytherins only had once class with ravenclaws - astronomy. they weren't as close as cassie liked, but preferred it to nothing at all.

usually, the stayed an extra hour late up in the stairwell of the astronomy tower, sometimes even staying the night. but it all stopped near the end of january. roxy and reia were seeing eachother less, and reia was suddenly disappearing for long periods at a time. sometimes, roxy couldn't see her for weeks. she never showed up at meals, and appeared to not exist outside of classes.

the first year of school was terrible.

second year, roxy found reia sitting alone on the hogwarts express. cassie sat down opposite her, and continued to stare out the window in silence.

"i'll just go to the toilet, yeah?" cassie said, glancing at reia before leaving the compartment. the line to the bathroom had about 16 people, she hoped that reia wouldn't mind waiting too long. it was about 30 minutes later when she finally decided to leave, the line only getting 2 people shorter within the half hour. she walked back towards their compartment, hoping that marilyn hadn't left.

she arrived at 16c - the compartment they shared- and peeked through the glass sliding door. reia was in there, of course, but so was james, a chubby blonde boy, a lanky brunette, and her brother. what were they doing in there?

roxy could make out sirius saying something to reia, james laughing along with the short boy, and the boy with scars who was now shaking his head at them. quietly, she opened the door.

"loony lovegood, whatcha doing now?" she heard sirius say, "have you seen some more nargles? oh no, did they steal your sanity, too? no wonder you act like that, always having your head in the -."

"sirius!" cassie yelled, storming towards him. "what are you doing?" she immediately tore her eyes away from the boys, instead looking towards marilyn who had her head down and was staring at the floor.

sirius didn't look guilty at all, in fact, he seemed to be enjoying it. "just talking to lovegood." he smirked, watching the was cassie face turned red with rage.

"what has marilyn done to you?" she asked, glaring at them all. "has she accidentally looked at you? oh no, how dare someone stare at the black heir- don't you dare interrupt, potter. all of you, OUT. oh no you don't, sirius black." she grabbed his ear, pulling him out of the compartment and into another one occupied by fifth years. she yelled at them to get out, to which they hesitantly left.

"sirius orion black," she said, channeling her inner walburga black. "why the bloody hell have you been teasing reia? and for what?!"

"she just looks funny." he laughed, "have you seen her? she's always doing stupid stuff. look at what she wears, for merlins sake, it looks hideous! lovegood looks insane!"

cassiopeia saw red.

she slapped him, hard, across the face. "how dare you," she muttered, glaring into his eyes. he didn't even have the decency to look ashamed.

"why are you defending her, huh?" he asked, looking annoyed. as if this was a waste of his time.

"because she's my friend." is he stupid? she thought

"i'm your brother, yeah? you didn't defend me when mother was cursing me. you stayed in your room, pretending to be reading like the little suck up that you are. 'oh mother, look! i got into slytherin!'" he mocked.

roxy could do nothing but stare.

he continued. "you, cassiopeia roxy black, are a coward. you help someone who you haven't talked to in moths, but can't even defend your own brother against mother?" it was a childish fight, they both knew. but that didn't stop them. a few moments of silence were passed between them before sirius started talking again. "pathetic." he muttered, leaving the compartment.

cassie was left frozen for a few minutes. sure, they got into fights, but they always made up. roxy knew that their friend ship would never be restored again. they'd never have the same sibling love that they always had, even if it wasn't expressed well.

she stormed out, looking for marilyn. oh, marilyn. cassie had left her. what if they did something to her? she ran back, looking for her blonde friend. she entered the previous compartment they were in. seeing reia, he breathed out a sigh of relief.

she found the girl sitting down, her head down and her hair covering her face. "reia?" she asked. the girl didn't look up. "reia, i'm sorry. my brother was being a total jerk- reia? are you okay?"

marilyn looked up, and roxy felt herself crumbling at the sight of her best friend. reia's eyes were red, her nose had tinged pink and tears were dripping down her cheeks. "oh, come here, reia."

hesitantly, roxy sat down and gave her a small pat on the back. cassie was never good at comforting people. she hated hugs, they were awkward, in her opinion. when do you end them? when do you start them? reia let out a sob and laid her head on roxy's lap, shutting her eyes. they stayed like that for a little bit until reia stopped sniffling and had finally quieted down.

she was now sleeping. cassie found herself staring. she stared at the small drops of water that remained on her puffy cheeks, her long lashes as they were clumped together with tears, and her soft lips. cassie couldn't look away, for some reason. she was entranced by the sight. roxy brushed reia's blonde hair out of her face, smiling when the girl leaned into her touch.

roxy couldn't understand why she felt like this. she couldn't understand the butterflies in her stomach every time marilyn smiled at her. she also couldn't understand why she felt giddy when they touched, or how she felt intensely happy just by her presence.

*

kinda a long chapter. i take it back, roxy and reia are in the year below james and sirius. the next chapter will be their second, third, and fourth year combined. it's just going to have a few paragraphs a year. since those few years aren't important. we weren't really given much of regulus in the hp books so i'm just basing her off me. so basically, i'll just give her the same personality as me, except obviously she's gonna be braver and a bit more bold.

reia is basically just gonna be like luna, except she's gonna be a bit more sensitive, unlike luna who didn't mind when others said stuff about her. she's also going to talk back in the further years.

i also take back what i said at the stars of the book. there will be NO jegulus at all.... unless?