All the Dark Reasons

2 - nightmares

WEAK

STUPID

PATHETIC

WHO THE FUCK  DO YOU THINK WOULD SAVE YOU                NO ONE

Bakugo gasped and jumped almost falling off his bed. The nightmares were getting worse, and the voices in his head were getting louder.  He couldn't calm his breathing down, his heart almost jumping out his chest. He did some explosions to distract himself  and grabbed his pillow really tight. He calmed  down slowly, then got up and went to the bathroom. He splashed his face with some cold water before hearing someone knocking at his door.

,,Who the fuck could it be, it's like 2 in the morning."

He then opened the door with an annoyed look on his face. His eyes widened a bit when he saw kirishima standing nervously in front of him.

,,What the fuck do you want shitty hair?

 Kirishima looked a bit uncomfortable asking this but then he mumbeld:

„Bakugo, is everything fine? I heard some noise coming from your room, so i was wondering if you're ok."
     He must have heard me waking up from that stupid nightmare.
"I'm fine, and actually,it's none of your damn business  anyways, now let me fucking sleep"
Kirishima noticed katsuki's hands shaking but didn't say anything about it.
" Oh ok , I just wanted to check if anything happened"
"As I said, it's none of your business "

"ok then, good night I guess" kirishima said rubbing the back of his neck.

bakugo noticed that kirishima saw his shacking body and mumbled an
"whatever" before slamming the door.

After  talking to bakugo kiri just went to his room that was next door and sat on his bed, thinking about what could possibly be wrong with  bakugo.

Kirishima's  POV

I noticed that bakugo didn't  really act like himself In the past week, he was quieter but also annoyed when someone approached him, but not the usual annoyed, it felt like he was trying to push everyone away, but why. He knew that bakugo wasn't the social type and he often would be loud around others, yelling "fuck off" when being annoyed with someone, but now he would be quiet in a group of people until he was asked something, and when someone tried approaching him or getting a lil bit too close, he would have this cold  look on his face and would just say "get lost" or "keep your  fucking distance."
It really bothered me, and I wasn't  the only one noticing this changes in bakugo's character, the bakusquad, midobro and todobro also noticed how cold and deep in thought bakugo seemed. It was like something kept his mind occupied, and I need to figure out what was that something 'cause this changes were for sure not some  good ones.

Bakugo's POV

Ugh, that annoying little shit, getting his ass  dragged in others business. I should be quieter next time, I dont need to give some more explanation to some curious  ass. With all this shit that's  happening, my brain cant proceed.
First my mom who seems to not be satisfied with anything I do, no matter how hard I try to do shit right and not be yelled at, but I guess not everything comes out how I want it to be. I dont understand what the actual fuck does she want me to be like. My whole life i did what I was told by her, even if I yelled back, but in the last couple weeks I didn't even have enough energy to at least talk back. That didn't quite seem to be liked by her, 'cause she thought I was trying to ignore her, but whatever. Then that disgusting sludge monster who almost fucking chocked me, startling my PTSD and nightmares, then the god damn teachers putting me in chains because I was "causing to much trouble " by moving around like a wild animal and screaming my lungs out about how that was a shitty fight, but I just couldn't accept the fact that icy-hot bastard would let me win like that. It wasn't fucking fair. He was underestimating my power and didn't want to use his fire side in the battle with me, but in the battle with that shitty nerd he used  his fire with no problem after hearing those stupid fucking words that deku said to him. He thought I wasn't worth of  his fire quirk
"That damn bastard"
And then when nothing could be worse the league of villains apeard and fucking kidnapped me. I cant believe I let that shit happen. The old hag was right this time, how tf am I so weak. But I was really  fucking surprised when I saw that some shitty villains didn't chain me as much as those so called  heroes did,  whatever.  But the  thing that those damn villains trusted me more by letting me out of those chains than the hero teachers who held those pieces of crap on me till the end of the tournament still haunts my mind. Still that was an experience that i dont want to repeat ever, the terrifying look in their eyes scared me to death, I was about to have a panic attack but kept my emotions in,i didn't want to let them see my weaknesses. But all this thoughts keep bugging me, all the terrifying things that could've happened at the league's  base, the thought that I could be dead right now  because of the sludge villain, who almost suffocated me, the thought that I am not good enough, and I'll never be able to show the old hag  that I'm not a mistake even tho I have my flukes. All this thoughts keep running through my head, and they're getting worse each day.
...
I just want all of them to end.
I just need somebody to be with me,but who tf would stay by my side when I'm such a failure.