One Shots - anime xx

The "voice"

A.N - this is unedited and im going to put a trigger warning because it touches on some subjects that may trigger people 

(Slight angst ) 

Before you reads this, if  you are going through a tough time and need someone to talk too, I will always reply ! Even if its just wanting to talk so your distracted or if you need me to help you with an emergency, I'm all ears. Also if you are feeling down or wanting to s**f h**m (don't know if that would trigger people ?) please don't be afraid to tell someone you care about. I know Everyone has their own ways of coping things but if you are scared for how to tell someone, i am more than willing to talk to you to help find a way thats most suitable for you. I hope this will help someone, and always remember if you think everyone hates you, there is always one person that will care for you more than everyone else. 

Love you all xxx

Hi, it's me and here's my thought process. 

I'm just a bother,nobody really wants me here. They say they do, yet they ignore me and leave me behind or maybe that's me not speaking loud enough and trying to walk behind them so I can blockout out all the noise. I feel alone when I'm by myself  but I never want to talk to anyone. 

We're out on a sunny day yet all I can think of is negative thoughts. There's this person that just nags at me reminding me of every reason to hate myself, a person no one but me can hear, I would say everyone has one but i think mines louder than normal and more harsh. When i say voice, i mean all those times when you think of an answer and you just think 'no that's so stupid 😂' , but if you want to laugh at me that's fine. They point out everything I want to forget; I see a girl " She's pretty, a lot prettier  than you and she's skinnier, look at your thighs, stomach, you're  just fat ! ".  When I'm taking my jacket off " You sure you want to do that ?! Are you trying to act like your scars show a battle because all I see is that they show that you're week !  Why not add some more when you get home, no one has to know, that way you wont 'upset' anyone " every day, I hear this voice in the back of my head and I just think that if I complied and did what the voice said it would finally leave me alone. Some times I hate the voice and sometimes I just think it's the only thing who know the true me, wether that be a mentally ill crazy girl, it's still me. The voice isn't Always there but it their most of the day to remind me of all my mistakes. I know my mum loves me and cares for me but it's hard to to believe that 24/7 when she pays more attention to Someone else's son on holiday , even if he is young. 

I've been complaining all this time but when it comes to it I'm the one isolating my self from everyone else, so I don't ruin everyone's day . The worst thing is I know I've let her down because she said something along the lines of that my attitude is a bit embarrassing and that I should try and be less miserable but it's hard because I'm already holding back tears because I've just had enough .

Well, i just have to think on the plus's side, i got an octopus teddy, thats great 😅

A.N - i hope you enjoyed this it is the first time i have written anything like this. You will all probably think im crazy and im not quites sure if im going to delete this or not but I wrote this about how i felt, so all of this is my emotions. 

Sorry about that 😊 Hope you all have a nice day,

Don't forget to comment and vote xxx(if you wouldn't mind)

Love, The Author 😘 xoxo