Call Out My Name

Soldat Sol

When Alina came back to the room she previously met the others, she was not surprised to see them jump to their feet when she opened the door to enter. Zoya had been pacing around the room, so she suddenly turned to the door when Alina opened it.

She was, however, surprised to see the question written on their faces: "Where was the Darkling?"

"I didn't know I was supposed to come back with him," Alina answered the unasked question. She pointed a finger over her shoulder as an indication of his whereabouts. "Should I go back and get him?"

"No need for that now," Nikolai said. "Let's have dinner. You must be tired from the travel."

She was, and yet it was nothing new to her. A long ago, there was a time when she was rushed in the same hurry to Os Alta because she had just discovered her powers as Grisha. Because they knew spies would come in and try to kill her, and they had. But the Darkling had been there to save her. Back then, she had been scared, confused, and tired. Now she was just tired.

Peace was for the dead. And she was not dead, not yet at least. She could fake her death and her identity and fool the countries, but she could never sit around knowing she could aid her country in any way possible. She would rest when she dies. She at least knew that now, that her life was not eternal. And she would spend it as she had always wanted, with Mal.

"I am starving," she said as she sat down at the table. Nikolai smiled back and called in for food to be served. Of course, it was the Grisha who had knew her to be alive that brought the food in. They all sat in silence before Nikolai gave them a sign to dig in. They ate and drank in silence.

"I've missed this," Alina said as she rubbed her full belly, head leaned back on the chair.

"I am well aware that you are not starving in the orphanage," Nikolai tried to sound insulted and hurt. Alina smiled.

"I meant eating with my friends, here, where Grisha belong and are accepted," Alina told him. "Where I used to belong."

"Don't be ridiculous," Genya said. "You still belong here. Always will."

Alina smiled at her. She knew that. She did, and yet they all knew she couldn't belong in a place that thought her death. This was an exception, and she knew the time would come once again for her to say goodbye to it and her friends, if not for good, for a very, very long time.

"I want to help Ravka, Nikolai," she turned to him, a change in her tone. Nikolai sat up straighter, attention to her. "But on my terms."

"I want to protect you," he said.

"I know, I know you want me to be sighted and the word to spread and let the rumors to their job, but not this time," she told him firmly. "I started as a soldier. I will end as one if I have to."

"That is dangerous!" Nikolai raised his voice, and Zoya shook her head beside him.

"I know it is, but so is a rumor of me being alive. It won't do as much damage as me on the battlefield. I will be exposed, and even after the war, there will be people looking for me. I'd rather fight as a soldier of the First Army than have my identity be discovered."

"You are out of your mind."

"So are you." Nikolai shook his head. There was a knock on the door, and Alina immediately reached for her scarf and put it around her head. She turned her back to the newcomers.

"Ah, there they are," Nikolai announced in his once again playful tone and stood up to greet his new guests. "Apologize for the wait, but my guest had been traveling a long way, and I had to feed her."