The best teammate

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So this one has a slow build but bear with me please.
Also thinking of doing a part 2 to this, let me know what you think!
Also warning: mentions of suicide and drug abuse

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I still remember when I got the call. Mclaren needed a driver for the 2021 season and they wanted me. I remember calling my brother, my best friend, as soon as I found out. He was so happy for me. All our lives it had just been the 2 of us. Our parents were so caught up in their own worlds that we practically raised each other. The only good thing they ever did was push us to do karting. While my brother didn't stick it out, it was my passion. I'd been supporting myself for years now though. We had finally got out of the grips of our parents and cut ties. I think the final straw for me had been when I finally started to gain some following and my parents tried to cash in on it. They only ever cared about themselves. It was just too toxic. I needed to focus if I wanted to make it big and unfortunately the constant reminder of my emotionally immature parents was too much.

Things had been better ever since. I got help through therapy and was learning to cope with my childhood trauma. My brother had a job he seemed to love and we talked every day. He came to races when he could but I knew I always had his support. The only surprise for me was when I joined F1. I wasn't sure how the other drivers would be with a woman on the track or if they would treat me differently. I was pleasantly surprised when I started to meet some of the drivers. I wasn't treated any differently than anyone else. It was like a brotherhood and I was just the sister. I got on well with everyone, especially my teammate Daniel. We had the exact same sense humor and just genuinely had a great time whenever we had to do an interview together.

When he learned that my family wasn't really in the picture, he made sure to let me know his family would also be my support. Which is weird if you think about it because although we are teammates, we are also both fighting to beat the other. F1 is such a strange sport.
Daniel's mom was exactly what I had always dreamed my mom would've been like to me. She was kind, caring, empathetic, funny, and so loving. She had a way of making you feel like part of the family with just a hug. I think that is why I gravitated toward Daniel the most out of all the drivers. He just felt like the perfect family I'd always wanted to be a part of. And he just gets me. I really don't know how else to explain it.
We give each other space but we also are best friends. I'm sure some of the other drivers think we're romantically involved or should be but we just get on well. And he knows when I need to focus which is more important for me today than it has ever been.

Exactly 4 days ago I got the call that my brother killed himself. I'd had no idea how much pain he was in. All this time I thought he'd been working and going to therapy to work through our shared childhood issues but I was so wrong. He had turned to drugs. When they weren't enough for him anymore he found a way out.
It had been all over the news all week. I'd declined all interviews. My press officer was wonderful for telling everyone that I'm working through it and just need privacy right now. However it wasn't enough.

"The female Mclaren driver is still refusing any interviews. A source close to Y/N has expressed concerns stating that she isn't grieving and it could be taking its toll mentally. Another source says that she is trying to focus on the race as that is what her brother would have wanted, however it could lead to a breakdown holding all of that emotion in..." I turned the tv off.
They had one thing right, my brother would want me to focus. We were already halfway through the season. I'd made the top 10 twice, getting points for the team, but I wanted that podium. I had too much to prove.
As I made my way to the garage from my driver room I bumped into Daniel. We hadn't spoken much all week. He kept looking at me like I was about to fall apart, which I probably will when I let myself feel.
"Hey Y/N. You know you can talk to me right? Like I'm here. If you need anything" he looked at me with worried eyes.
"I know. Thanks Dan. But I just need to focus ok?" I gave a half smile hoping he would catch the hint.
He didn't. He just kept staring at me waiting for me to say more.
"It's what he would've wanted." I add
He gave a knowing nod and pulled me in for a hug.
"I just miss your smile. Not that I expect you to smile given what has happened. I just miss you and wish there was something I could do" he spoke into my hair as he held onto me tightly.
"That girl will be back soon, I promise" I said, more like whispered, as I pulled back from him. I gave him a smile again, actually meaning it a little more this time and realized a tear was starting to form. I quickly shook my head and wiped it away. I couldn't open the floodgates just yet, we still had to race.

~Fast forward to last lap of the race~

I don't know how it happened but I was in 3rd. The whole race I drove flawlessly, even passing Daniel which surprised the whole team. I stayed pretty much radio silent the entire time too, only wanting to hear the stats I needed to hear and responding accordingly. I was now closing in on Max but there just wasn't enough track left before the checked flag.
"That's P3 Y/N!! P3! You've done it!" I here the engineer tell me followed by a "well done!" From Zak.
"Omg are you serious? What did I just do?" I shouted as I couldn't really believe it myself.
And then it happened. The emotion of finally getting a podium was enough to push open the barrier I had put up for myself. I couldn't stop crying as I started to feel everything all at once. As I pulled into parc ferme it took all the strength I had to just get out of the car. I pulled off my helmet and balaclava and kneeled down and placed my hand over the sticker I had put on the car before qualifying in honor of my brother. I was balling my eyes out at that point and just couldn't stop.
I felt Lewis come up to congratulate me and as soon as he realized what was going on I heard him shout something to Max. The next thing I knew they were both pulling me up off the ground into a hug and calling to the other drivers. Everyone started to form somewhat of a shield around me to protect me from the media.
That was when Daniel pushed his way in and completely encompassed me, pulling my head into his shoulder.
"Shhh it's ok. It's ok. We've got you. I've got you." He said as he let me release everything I had been holding onto.

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