Un matin tu dansais | c.s + j.wy

danse mon esmeralda

[dance, my esmeralda]

Où est-elle
Ton Esmeralda

Les rues de Paris
Sont tristes sans elle

[Where is she

Your Esmeralda

The streets of Paris

Are sad for her absence]

This was the one and only time San and Wooyoung met.

San didn't stop to go to see the ballet, though. He kept staring at Wooyoung, but the lust in his previous experiences had gone. He didn't feel the needing of touching the other once more. Instead, he wanted so bad to hug him, to pull him closer and never let his body away. Too scared to make it wander alone in such a bad reality. It was like their souls were linked. And they'd forever been.

When there was the last show of Romeo and Juliet, San already knew that that was his last time he'd seen the dancer. Because he announced to move to Europe, to work in more prestigious and important companies. San hadn't figured out a way to continue his life without seeing him dancing, but he'd find one, he guessed. He hoped.

As every other last show, San stood at the exit of the theatre with his bouquet of flowers, ready to throw it away as all the other people. No hint that Wooyoung could accept it, as he did just once. Yet, San brought them every single time. Because that's what Wooyoung deserved: love, caring, colors. Positive emotions. The same that San felt every time he danced. The feeling of his soul flying free without worries or fears.

The dancer made his appearance and right after a lot of flashes from journalists invaded the space, making him to cover his eyes. San was pretty disappointed with all that bothering.

Wooyoung was about to enter his limousine, when he lifted his gaze. He casually met San's one. He observed the bouquet he was holding, not sure about his emotions. But when he lifted his eyes again, a smile grew on his lips. Before San could reach his direction with his arm, another man surpassed his figure and arrived right after Wooyoung, who had a strange starlight in his eyes while looking at him. San sighed between his lips.
The two, then, got together into the car, as the journalists were harshly asking who that person was, if his boyfriend, or something like that.

San walked back to his car, still holding the flowers. He was supposed to throw them away, but he didn't, as all the previous times. He decided to bring them back home. Because nothing deserved to be thrown away. Nothing had been useless. Nothing, in his life, had been senseless.

Wooyoung wasn't just a night adventure. But the younger was too young and dumb to understand his importance in that world. Fine, San thought. He preferred to spend his time with the wrong people, wasting his beautiful and pure soul in such human dirty life habits.

Tu l'aimes pour le dehors
Sans voir ce qu'il y a dedans

[You love him for his outside

Without seeing his inside]

San wasn't surprised, that day, when, scrolling his phone he got into some news. It had been almost two years since he last saw Jung Wooyoung, who continued his life peacefully in Europe, dancing in Italian and French theatres, reaching the so wanted title of étoile. He was so proud of what the younger achieved.

But the pride didn't delete the awareness of what just happened. And didn't manage to erase away the crack that forever would have split San's heart.

San let a single tear to fall from his eyes. Then, he came back to his work as nothing happened. Because nothing had happened.

And nothing will ever happen again. Because his emotions ceased their existence.
They crumbled and flied away, hoping to reach the beloved ones. Though, he didn't feel worthy even to touch those ashes. Or that wandering soul. Which, San hoped, could find a proper spot for itself in that cruel world. Some safe spot, reserved from God himself. Some place to protect it, forever.

Breaking: étoile Jung Wooyoung passed away in a car accident.
He and his boyfriend were drunk.