Connected: a Newtxreader

15

You lay in the cold dirt of the barn, sweating and shaking, with a large group of boys surrounding you.

"She's awake!", Zart points out, and Newt is by your side within seconds. He reaches out his hand to comfort you but you flinch away; you can still feel Janson's knife on your skin, or the shocks of his electric chair.

"Love, are you alright?", he asks gently, but you can't find the strength to answer. Your ribs feel broken and your body tingles like it did when you were electrocuted. You wrap your arms around your stomach and pull your legs to your chest, rocking back and forth slightly while laying on your side.

"C'mon, let's get her up", Clint says and him and Jeff reach down to pull you up but you flip out.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!", you scream through a sob that racks your body, "stay back".

The boys flinch when you yell and Newt whispers for them to give you some space, and reluctantly they disperse leaving you a Newt alone, him crouching over your body.

"Love, what happened?"

You shake your head repeatedly, "I'm a terrible person. I'm a terrible person. I'm a terrible person...", you chant over and over.

"No, Y/N, no you aren't", he scoots closer to you and you cower closer to the wall of the barn. Newt reaches out his hand and brushes your hair out of your face, and this time you don't flinch. He takes that a sign that it's safe to come and sit with you.

Still breathing rather heavily, you move yourself into a sitting position and hug your knees tightly to your chest.

"What happened?", Newt asks cautiously, as if you might burst again.

"I don't really know.... my head just started hurting really bad and then I started remembering stuff. I think they were memories at least", you look up at Newt, still shaking furiously, "it felt so real. I could feel everything, like I was actually there". You remember the electricity coursing through you and shudder.

He wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him and you bury your face into his collarbone. He rocks back and forth with you and rubs your back, soothing you and whispering comforting words to you.

After a good fifteen minutes of comforting, with your tears all dry and your body no longer quivering, you sit up. You're sort of embarrassed about your little episode— not that you should be. It could've happened to anyone— and you don't want to face everyone, but you also can't stay here, so you stand up and move to exit the barn.

Newt grabs your wrist and spins you around.

"Love, are you sure you're alright? You were screaming bloody murder. It sounded like you were in pain", he looks at you sadly but you smile and shake your head.

"Don't worry. I'm fine". That's always a lie.

"You said some words too. Not much that made sense to us. A couple times you screamed, telling us to make it stop; other then that you just said single words. Mission, done, file, kill. I'm worried Love".

"It's nothing. I don't really even know what it was about. Probably all fake", now you're lying to yourself.

"You wanna talk about it?", Newt suggests. It's sweet how much he cares about you, but you just shake your head.

"No, thanks. I just need some time to process it".

"I'll tell Alby you get the rest of the day off", he smiles and you give him a weak grin in thanks.

You mutter a 'thank you' and slouch off to the Deadheads, almost running into the trees as you stare at the ground in thought.

When you find a nice tree you climb and sit on a thick branch, leaning your back against the body of the tall oak with your foot dangling off the edge. It's getting close to dinner, and the runners aren't back yet. But you don't have time to worry about them; you need to sort out your own problems for once.