I spent all the love I had- (Sam X Bucky) WinterFalcon ;3

Fine Now

Bucky POV

I laid on Steve's lap as we watched the news. Sam put the shield back... I shook my head and looked up at Steve. I tapped his face. "Hey," He looked down at me. "What's wrong? You look... Uncomfortable." He chuckled a bit and sat up to get me off. I scratched the back of my neck and sat up. "Nothing Buck I just... I'm tired of watching this... Let's just go to bed.." I nodded my head slowly and turned the TV off. He turned out the lights and slid to the other side of the bed. He always does that so I thought it was normal. I assumed he just wasn't the cuddling type of guy, and I'm fine with that. But... He never really showed sympathy for when I had nightmares of my past. 

I'm fine but I'm still trying to cope with it because I know for sure I'm no cured yet. So just like tonight when I woke up in a cold sweat, I just looked at Steve panting with lost hope in my eyes. I shook my head and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and splashed my face with water. I don't eat much so I just went downstairs and turned the TV on until about 4 hours later I saw Steve. "Oh, Het Steve." I forced a smile as he just waved and walked into the kitchen. I rubbed my forehead and I jumped when he sat next to me.

He never does this... I thought to myself. He had a bowl of cereal in his hands and he was munching on my favorite cereal. Cheerios. He faintly smiled at me and touched my face. I leaned into his hand but as soon as I did he pulled away. We sat there watching TV for awhile and then he got up. I grabbed his hand and asked, "Hey, where are you going?" He stared back at me and shook his head a bit. "Sorry Buck, but I have to go to New York to finish up a couple of things." He patted my head and started to walk off again. My heart sank of the thought of him going away, even for a little bit. "Your leaving? But why? I can come with you." I stood up and started to walk into our room but he stopped me. "No, Bucky I just need you to stay here okay? It's just unfinished work that needs to be handled." I looked down at his hand on my chest and back at him. My eyes filled with hurt. "B-but you've never left me alone for a long time before! Sure I managed when you'd go to a friend's house or something but, but this is different! Steve, you'll be gone for two weeks! What if I mess up? I won't be okay here without you!" 

Steve scoffed into his hands.  He looked up at me with anger in his eyes. "What, do I need to call a baby sitter for you? You can manage Bucky. You're an adult with a full functioning brain, so be one and grow up." He slammed the bedroom door and I stood there, my heart shattering in two. I slowly walked to the bathroom and sat there.

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I woke up laying on the ground. Sweat covered my face and I shakily stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I rubbed my hands on my face and nervously looked at the door. I unlocked it and crept out. I moved towards the window so I could check if Steve was gone. He was. Never said good-bye. Never asked if I'm okay. He just left and it broke my heart. I had be having dreams of my past and him leaving me alone left me crumbling. I decided to keep it calm and do the best I could. That didn't last long. By 12:04 I was cutting my hair in the bathroom. It was a mess. Tears slowly and silently streamed down my face. I gathered my hair in a pile and toss it away. I decided to be healthy and go out. I put on a hood and took a walk. A very far one. 

Author's POV

Bucky had been doing surprisingly well on his own. He liked it. But at the same time he wasn't taking care of himself. He didn't eat since Steve left, he frequently cut his hair, exercised then threw up, took pills for depression but he still took showers. He took care of the apartment even though he didn't feel like it. It was Monday morning and Bucky was out of a run so when Steve came back he kind of flipped out. "Bucky!" He yelled. "Bucky! Where the hell are you?!" Steve scoffed and threw his things on the couch. Steve never called or texted Bucky so he didn't think of that. 

When Bucky run up to the driveway covered in sweat, he saw Steve's car and a match lit inside of him that Steve was finally back. Bucky bursted inside and went straight to their room. He was going to clean up before greeting his boyfriend but he was cut short when Steve yanked his wrist. Bucky fell to the ground and he looked up, shocked. His eyes filled with hurt when he saw Steve angrily glaring at him. Steve's voice was filled with force and danger. "What the hell?! You running away now?!" Bucky slid back a bit and his eyes filled with tears. "N-No! I just... went on a morning walk.." Steve slammed his hand on the dresser right next to Bucky's face. "Bullshit!" He screamed. Bucky flinched and cried out as Steve yanked him up close to his face. "You have one chance," he said in a scary whisper. Bucky shivered as he silently cried. "I-I swear Steve- I-I just went to run-" Steve dropped Bucky and turned away. He looked at him over his shoulder. He gripped a glass figure from a shelf. "Aw, Buck" He said in a horrifying tone. "I thought you were smarter." Bucky's eyes widened as he saw the glass object flying towards himself.