Secret Rendezvous

7.

Present Day

I open my eyes. A wall of silence hits me. I'm naked under these sheets, inside and out. I bore everything to that man last night and now there's an empty space beside me. I sit up and take in his hotel room in the daylight. Even now with the sunlight streaming it, it wasn't that impressive.

The tray from our ice cream is knocked over from the wild night we endured. There's only one thing missing, Landry. Left in his wake are tousled white sheets and a note written on hotel paper.

Cal,

Sorry, early morning wake up for an interview today. Make yourself at home, order yourself some breakfast. See you tonight.

XoXo

Landry

Is this how it would be if anything came of this? The thought alone causes bile to rise up into my throat. I'm sick to my stomach over it. Beside the paper is my phone. I swipe it to check the time. There's no time for a nice breakfast in his fancy hotel suite, only enough for me to run back to my room and get ready for work.

As the date on the phone stares back at me, I grasp at my middle attempting to hold myself together. One more day until I get to relive the most painful day of my life. Dad's face and the way he clenched his chest flashes behind my eyes. I dig the heels of my hand deep into my eyes to erase it. I haven't made it this far into the festival in years, and I'm having mixed emotions that I can't quite manage to sort though.

Back in my room and in my own hotel shower I allow the hot water to wipe away the mess of what I got into last night. I'm not denying that it felt good, because my god - it was the best sex I've ever had. There was something so raw about it, but I can't enjoy the image of us rolling around in his sheets, because all I can think about was how many other women he made feel that way. How many of them did he hold like that? How many did he make feel special? In that moment it was as if I were the only one, but he's Landry Stiles - chart topping player - Landry Stiles. There had to be hundreds of others.

Unwanted tears spring to my eyes, and I try to wipe them away, but the cascading water of the shower head makes it impossible. I slide down the cool tile wall inside the tub. As I drop I pull my legs into my chest and allow the water to drown out the sobs.

***

I make it just on time to my first event for the morning. I'm stuck at the first stage which consists of unknown bands. The crowd is rambunctious today. It's enough to cause a tightness in my chest, like the feeling that has made me run every year.

"Come in Callie." Russell's voice chimes over the walkie.

The band has just ended their set, and the crowd is starting to disperse to other locations.

"I'm here, over."

Static crackles over the speaker and it takes an extra second for Russel's voice to come through.

"Hanging in there today, kiddo?"

To him I'm still the little girl shadowing my dad every summer. That and he's well aware of what tomorrow is.

"Best I can."

I should be floating on cloud nine today after what I experienced last night. I found him after all these years, but there's something that doesn't quite sit right about it all. I swallow hard trying to get myself focused again.

"Can I steal you for the Five Seconds signing?"

My lips tug into a smile. I could never say no to that request. I radio him back immediately with a wide-grinned YES!

***

20 Years Earlier

Day four was my least favorite of all of them. We spent another night holding hands in the hotel room bed beside his snoring mom, but outside of the room he kept a small space between us.

He was quiet that day as we scoured the festival grounds for our favorite bands. We talked mostly about what our favorite performance of the weekend was, but he never brought up the kiss. I was devastated.

Dad caught up with us around mid-afternoon that day. I remember this being the most brutal day heat wise of all the others. I hesitantly went with him, but wanted to give Landry some space. What had I done wrong? Was I a bad kisser? No matter how sad and confused I was over it, spending time with dad kept me sane.

"So, are you behaving for Landry's mom? I'm so sorry we haven't had any time together, I took a lot of extra shifts."

I glanced up at him. The look on his face was sad. I may have been twelve, but dad never hid anything from me.

"It's been a lot of fun. They are both really nice. Do we need the money?" I had asked, my mouth full of french fries and ketchup.

Dad ran a hand through his hair and stared back at me. He blinked several times.

"I might be a kid, but I saw those red stamped envelopes in the mail. Will we be okay?"

Dad reached his hand across the table and covered mine in his. "We will be kiddo. This job will put us back on top. Promise."

I wanted to help, but the most I could do at twelve was babysit or sell lemonade.

"Would you like to see what I do at these concerts? I have to be at stage three in five minutes."

He checked the time on his watch, as I shoveled the last few fries into my already stuffed mouth. I remember feeling a sense of relief that I would be doing something to take my mind off of the weirdness between Landry and myself.

Lars greeted us as we walked up. He leaned down when dad walked over to the barricade to check on something and said, "you didn't tell your pops about the ice cream for lunch, did you?"

I laughed. "No. Did you?"

Lars smirked and pretended to zip his mouth shut with his fingers. "It will be our little secret."

When dad returned, they led me over to the front of the stage. Here there was a large enough space where people couldn't stage dive, but there were plenty of crowd surfers that would come barreling through right into the arms of dad or Lars. I was fascinated by it all, and watched the two of them as they helped either injured guests or ones who got thrown over the barricade while surfing.

Later that evening I caught up with Landry and his mom back at the hotel. They both started to pack their things, then it hit me, this was it. Technically it was the last day and the following one we would all return back to our realities.

When Landry's mom went into the bathroom I grabbed hold of his arm. I pulled him towards me and took a leap of faith as I wrapped him in my arms. He was taller so my head rested on his shoulder. At first he didn't move, not even an inch, but then his arms tightened around my body.

"I had the best weekend, Landry. Was I a bad kisser? Do you regret kissing me?"

Eyes wide Landry pulled back and kept me at arms length. His hazel eyes met mine and with an intense glow he said, "I could never regret anything I do with you."

He sounded older at that moment, and I don't know what came over me, but I reached up on my toes and slowly moved in for another kiss. The bathroom door opened as my lips grazed his and both of us jumped away from each other.

"Do you kids want to go to any of the remaining concerts?"

I swallowed hard. I couldn't look her in their eyes, I was afraid she'd see right through me that I kissed her son. It was all new to me and I had no idea how to handle the kiss.

"You want to go watch Blink's last set with me?"

I lifted my gaze and the golden specks in his stare pulled me right back in. I nodded. "I would love that."

Hand in hand we walked through the field towards the show. I don't remember much of that last night only that he never let go of my hand, not even for one second.