Hold Me In Your Arms Forever (suicidal Sugawara x Daichi haikyuu!!)

Chapter 9

Sugas pov

I watch him as he sits by the cliff, behind the railing. The moon is huge and bright, contrasting shadows fill the tree sprinkled area. It's so peaceful. He's so peaceful. I walk, but I stand still. I can't move? I look down at my hands; they have chains on them keeping me from moving. I look back and see him stand. It feels as if the distance between us is getting smaller but we're not moving. He turns.

The moon shines on his face, he looks at me... no, he looks through me. I tug against the chains to try and move. He turns back- facing the moon. The silhouette lifts one leg over the railing. Then another. I struggle more.

Let me go, let me go! I feel warmth travel down my face, down my arms and down my hands.

I try to scream but nothing comes out, the red expanding. Stop. I don't want to be here. Let me get to him, please.

I see him standing. The moon is red. Everything is black. The silhouette turns back around.

It jumps.

-

"NO!" I scream, shooting up from the nightmare. I feel everything but nothing at once. I can't breathe. I grab my face, and dig my nails into my cheeks. I hear noises around me but can't focus on them. I hear ringing and scratching and disturbed breathing.

I feel hands grab my own, and pull them away from my face quickly but carefully. The hands are warm.

"Look at me, please, Ko, look at me." I look up to see the silhouette in my nightmare. It's him. He's ok. He's ok he's ok you're ok.

Everyone knows you're not ok. You'll never be ok.

Daichi, he's trying to shush me, he's telling me I'm ok. I'm ok now. He takes my trembling hands and puts them on his own face. I feel the slight stubble and rough skin. I slowly rub my fingers on them. My head goes dizzy.

I put my head down, and bring his hands to cover my ears. I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing. It's hard. It's so hard.

Warmth envelopes my body and I remember the crimson that appeared in the dream. Stop thinking. Stop thinking. It's ok.

You know it's your fault he did that. It's going to happen and you know it.

I shake my head and feel the tears fall down my face. It hurts, everything hurts right now. I just want to hurt myself. I want to do it until everything stops. I can't handle this anymore. The hands slowly move from my ears to my face.

"Hey..." I hear him whisper. "I'm right here. You're here right now. We're in Asahi's room right now, we're on this bed. You're breathing, and that's really good. I'm here right next to you. You're doing so great."

He slowly pushes my head up, but doesn't force it. I take my shaking hands and wipe my eyes. I take a breath. And exhale. And another. I look at his chest, his shoulders. I feel his hands on my face. I feel the bedsheets on my legs. I feel his warmth, his presence. I look at his eyes, the dark brown drowning me.

My lip quivers as I open my mouth. My eyes flicker from his to his mouth to his hair and his whole face. He's... almost mesmerising.

I pull him closer to me by pulling his sleeves. He hugs me again, and I feel everything calming down. No more nightmare. It's ok.

"I-I'm..." I stutter, "I'm s-so sorry."

His body bounces slightly as he chuckles. A smile plays on my mouth. I still don't know what's going on though.