Never Have I Ever

4. False Promises

Mom appears at my bedroom door, a steaming mug in hand. Her eyes are dry and rejuvenated—though the streaks of tear marks on her cheeks betray her perfect rouse.

"Tea?" she asks.

I smile as she approaches.

"What're you doing?" she questions, sitting on the edge of my bed.

Celia lays peacefully asleep to my right, lightly snoring.

"I'm researching." I angle my face towards my laptop screen and sigh. "If only I had my law degree already."

She rests the tea on my nightstand and lightly squeezes my leg. "You don't need a law degree, Helena. We have Jason, remember?"

And my plan to track down Carl Hudson.

"I know."

She regards me closely, reading my every thought. "I know what you're thinking."

"What's that?" I ask.

She glances to Celia and gently places her hand on her back. Her snores continue and Mom—seeing that as reassurance to carry on—takes a deep breath in.

"Carl Hudson is a dangerous man, Helena. You shouldn't go looking for him."

"Even if he's the reason Elliot's facing jail?"

"Yes," she replies.

  I say nothing in response, unable to give her my word.

"You don't know this," she begins, voice distant. "But Sarah and I were best friends in high school."

Huh?

"Inseparable."

That explains her reaction earlier.

"I knew Carl back then. He wasn't a nice person."

"I have to look for him, Mom!" I argue, keeping a close eye on Celia. "He's a killer. Isn't it about time we brought him to justice?"

"And what happens when he's put in front of a police officer?" she retorts. "He'll tell them what Elliot and Celia did four years ago. They'll go to prison for a long time, Helena. Both of them."

I stop breathing.

"He's cornered us and he knows it."

"I didn't think of that," I admit, mouth filling with saliva.

I want to vomit.

"What do we do, then?" I ask.

"We build a fucking fantastic case for Elliot."

It's not enough.

"And let Carl walk away?"

Her body sags in defeat. "Right now, my main priority is keeping you kids safe."