// Best YA Romance in the Romance Fiction Awards 2021//
Thrill Hawthorne, keeping up to his name, lives his life on the edge. Or so people think.
Ignatius Rookwood is the darling son and the sole male heir to a gigantic business corporation. Or so...
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"You're in big trouble, aren't you?" Ignatius muttered, his head downcast, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of his shirt.
"Well, I'm always in some sort of trouble, so you'll have to be a little specific," Thrill chuckled. He sat beside Ignatius, leaning against the railings. Behind them, the sky had darkened and the city was starting to light up like stars. A large empty pizza box sat in front of them.
"I mean, because of the... lawsuit."
"Oh yeah, big time."
Ignatius wanted to look at Thrill but he was scared – of what, he wasn't exactly sure yet. "I'm sorry."
Thrill was silent for a beat, then, in a voice as low as Ignatius', he said, "If you're sorry, why'd you do it?"
Ignatius did not answer. He did not have an answer. A minute trickled by, then another.
Ignatius gritted his teeth and looked at Thrill. "You know it's messed up, right, licking someone you don't know?"
Thrill held Ignatius' gaze. "You know it's messed up, right, kissing the person you just sued for harassment?"
Ignatius would've preferred if Thrill had thrown him off the tower instead of bringing that up. He gulped, and looked away immediately. "I'm sorry."
"Seriously though, Iggy," Thrill let out a heavy sigh, "why'd you do it?"
Iggy. It sounded so fucking cringy, but the way he said it... it made Ignatius feel weird, and he wasn't sure if that a good thing or a bad one. "Don't call me that," he said, because he had to.
Thrill ignored it. "Answer the question, will you? I won't judge."
That, Ignatius knew he wouldn't. After all, he had already done too many embarrassing things in front of Thrill. He took a deep breath, and genuinely tried to look for an answer.
Why did he do it? He did it because he thought it would gain him a couple of merits from his mother. Isadora was the star child, the one who was set to inherit their business. Ignatius was the weak, dumb son who would never be able to handle the pressures of real life. And it was true, too. Ignatius knew he was incapable. He knew he was weak. He thought if he gave his mother a way to get back at David Hawthorne, her long-time rival, she would start seeing Ignatius' worth.
Of course, never in his wildest dreams did Ignatius think that things would turn out like this. He had thrown an innocent man to the gallows and he hated himself for it. He wished he could do something about it.
"How do you do it?" Thrill asked when he did not receive any answer from Ignatius. "Live like this, I mean? Your decisions are made by other people, and you accept them? Why? And how?"
