// Best YA Romance in the Romance Fiction Awards 2021//
Thrill Hawthorne, keeping up to his name, lives his life on the edge. Or so people think.
Ignatius Rookwood is the darling son and the sole male heir to a gigantic business corporation. Or so...
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The moment Ignatius got out of the car and saw an ocean of rainbow flags, he felt his heart constrict.
"I-It's a... p-pride march?" he sputtered when Adrisa cheerfully skipped up to him.
"Yeah, sort of."
Ignatius turned to Adrisa. She was dressed simply in a white t-shirt and blue jeans with rainbow stripes along the sides and had a sling bag dangling over her shoulder. There was a wide array of pins decorating the strap.
"You okay? You look a little pale," Adrisa said. "You had breakfast, right?"
Ignatius nodded, feeling the said breakfast churning in his stomach. He knew he shouldn't have eaten anything but Dr. Ra'hor was relentless.
"Come on, let's not stand under the sun." Adrisa was about to lead him towards the large group of people crowding the Kayu Park – the biggest park in the city – but Ignatius refused to move. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"I..." Words got stuck in his throat, or maybe he had no words. What was he supposed to say anyway? He did not understand what he was feeling. It suddenly just felt suffocating and nauseating. He wanted to cry. More than that, he wanted to run.
Adrisa's cheerful face turned into one of concern. "Hey, hey, hey, Ignatius... it's okay. Breathe. It's okay."
It was only when Adrisa asked him to breathe that Ignatius realized he was holding his breath. His lungs felt heavy, and there seemed to be something clogged in his throat. He stumbled back, grabbing onto the hood of the car for support. The more he was struggling to breathe, the harder it got to suck in air. It reminded Ignatius of the day he had almost drowned, the water gushing into his mouth and nose, leaving him paralyzed.
"It's okay, it's okay, you're okay. Just breathe, yeah? Look at me. Do as I do." Adrisa forced Ignatius to keep his eyes on her as she took in slow, deep breaths.
Ignatius tried mimicking her. Tears stung his eyes as he realized he was probably going to die. It was such a pathetic way to go – in such a filthy hot morning, outside a park, suffocating on thin air, wearing a ridiculous t-shirt that wasn't his own. People were going to laugh about it for weeks, until they forgot someone called Ignatius ever existed...
"You're okay, Ignatius. You're safe." Adrisa gently stroked his shoulder; Ignatius closed his eyes and tried to focus on that, at the repetitive movement and the soft, warm fingers. "You'll get through this. Just keep breathing."
After what felt like hours, Ignatius was finally able to breathe better. He kept his eyes closed as he nodded to Adrisa to let her know he was okay. His heart was still pounding and he was shivering but at least he was able to suck in air.
