Faith In Me

15.

Dealing with guilt was never one of Robert's strongest points. Often he would avoid things that would cause him issues, like dating or making friends.. However, since Robert put himself out into the world; things have gotten quite complicated, and Robert was struggling to deal with it all.

Weeks had passed since Robert had spoken to Mary, his sleeping schedule was all wonka and the one person Robert was closest with was causing him the most trouble. Robert had never fancied another bloke before, he had always been drawn to women and their stupid dainty ways; but as of recently robert had been unable to keep his mind away from his best friend. 

Since robert was dealing with this, the only way he believed he could cope was to avoid being in situations like that with simon; if he could avoid being alone with simon, robert would be alright! That's what he told himself.

Robert told himself he needed to do better, he needed to compensate for his wavering sexuality by becoming hyper sexual with women! Because that’s obviously the healthy thing to do!

Obviously Robert wasn’t doing very well at the moment.

Robert sat in the studio, alone this time. He had come here to think, since he had a key now and it was late into the afternoon. Robert knew he wouldn't be bothered here, since lol had taken simon out for drinks. Robert was glad for the moment alone, however it was only proving to be more detrimental than helpful to Robert's mind. Robert sighed, closing his eyes as he chewed on his fingers, tearing the flesh before shifting uncomfortably in his seat and tapping his pencil obnoxiously loud against the soundboard.

“Tch..” robert hissed, sitting back before grabbing his hair in anger and pulling it. “Dammit! It’s too fucking quiet, i can't think” robert said with an annoyed edge to his voice, suddenly standing up and walking over to the window where he watched the sun set over the city slowly. Robert crossed his arms before leaning his head against the windowsill.

Robert hugged himself, watching as the sky turned red before letting his shoulders fall. Robert had been feeling rather out of it recently, but he was doing his best not to let anyone see that. Especially not Simon, Robert feared what Simon would do if he found out about Robert's mindset at the moment.

Robert zoned out, admiring the changing sky as his thoughts wandered all around the place; ignorant to the door to the studio being pushed open and Barry walking in. “oh- robert?'' Barry said, surprised to see Robert in the studio and not with his friends. Robert jumped and looked over his shoulder, “ah- sorry barry, you startled me” Robert sighed, placing a hand on his chest before turning to face barry. Barry raised a questioning eyebrow before closing the door behind him. “What are you doing here robert? Didn’t you want to go drinking with lol and simon?'' Barry asked, watching as Robert's face fell a little.

“Ah- no not really i… I wanted to work on the last few songs,.. For the album.'' Robert said slowly, tracing his fingers down the window sill before offering a coy smile to barry. 

“You wanted to work on the songs… alone?” Barry said, not really believing robert. Robert pursed his lips before looking down. “W-wel..” Robert stuttered, unable to think of a better excuse to why he was just sitting alone in the studio room.

Barry eyed robert once more before letting out a breathy laugh, causing robert to look up. “Ah, I see. Can't think of anything else then?'' Barry teased, walking towards robert. “You can be honest with me robert… i'm a friend” barry said, placing his hand on robert’s shoulder and squeezing lightly. 

“You can tell me anything..'' Barry whispered, voice lowering into a seductive tone. Robert tensed, eyes widened as he realized what Barry was trying to do. Robert tensed and looked at barry, uncertainty swimming around in his blue orbs. “Haven't i always been kind to you robert?” barry mused, touching robert’s neck before grasping it; watching as robert screwed his eyes shut.