Diary Of The Lovely Firework

Page 4

June 13, 2005

I bit my lip and looked over the purple skies. Pete wanted to take me on a drive but I was tired and the guys were getting irritated because I keep missing bus call. Though, as long as I'm back within three hours I should be good.

"Fine" I sigh pushing myself up off the couch.

"Grab your favourite CDs and I'll go grab the car" he said. There's a car his manager has just in case and Pete has a copy of the keys. Now I'm not approving of his behaviour, but if he really wants to take a drive and I wasn't going to stop him because I knew It'd be pointless. So I ran in and grabbed Indestructible (an album by Rancid) and Circle Of Snakes (an album by Danzing).

"Where you off to so quickly?" Gerard asked, stopping me in my tracks.

"I just need some quiet time" I shrugged, hoping it would convince him.

"Well hey, I'm here if you need to talk. Okay?" He said, very unconvinced by my lie but he didn't push it too much, probably because he planned on drinking soon.

So, I slipped out of the bus and into the medium- sized, silvery car's passenger seat. I couldn't tell you what brand or type or whatever kind of car it was. I was more of a band geek, less of a 'lets play football and talk cars like it somehow proves I have a bigger dick' kinda guy.

"My favourite records" I smiled, presenting him the two albums. He said how they were the very best albums, right after the 'Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge' album. Thinking about it, we never really declared what we were. Are we boyfriends? Are we friends with benefits? Whatever we have, it feels so strong. It actually scares me to think of falling for him, it's summer, who knows what will happen after the summer of 2005. Will the Fall of 2005 change everything that had happened, and what has left to come? I'm feeling sick just thinking about it.

Anyways, we pulled up the the top of a cliff that over looked the city of- whatever city we were in today.

"I remember how much you liked those lights in New York. I mean its not as extravagant but it still works" He explained as we sat on the hood of the car looking up at the stars. It was beautiful, I couldn't see the stars in the city but when I was out there, on the hood of the car, I could see trillions of stars. I felt overwhelmed with amazement, though it also reminded me of the talk we had at the café.

"Hey Pete?" I squeaked shyly, looking over to see him gazing at the stars. "How are you doing with the drug stuff...?" It was hard for me to approch the idea of drugs and alcohol. I mean I do drugs and drink but I haven't experienced addition before.

"I'm better off with out them." He tears his eyes away to look over at me. "Sure I still want them but I know I shouldn't fall back into the dark hole."

I didn't reply, I just turned back to the stars. I'm incredibly amazed by his strength, from knowing Gerard, I realised that leaving the bottle behind is the hardest thing to do. Even Gerard, my older brother who is the strong one that always protected me, had trouble leaving his addiction.

He slid of the hood of the car and stretched out his hand. "Let's dance" he softly demanded.

"I don't dance" I didn't budge off the roof of the car.

"Who cares?" He says, tugging at my arm. I decided it wouldn't be all that bad and stood up, letting him take me in his arms. Though I'm taller, he led, deciding every move. He got to rest his head against mine, humming softly to the music that cut through the silence.

As usual, he became bored very quickly, (which I think is cute), and bounced up to kiss me. His kisses always give me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Loving how he would hold my back so softly that I could barely feel it but his kisses gradually deepened. He loves the dominance but it's probably because he's trying to make up for the hight difference.

He laid his head back on my shoulder and yawned. I didn't blame him, less than a month on tour and all the shows are taking all the energy out of us. So I suggested we go back, and he agreed as long as I drove. Which was really no problem, driving calmed me and I've been missing the freedom for a while.

Pete took one of my hands, making it melt into his. He was so cute, he curled up in a little ball in the seat, using his small legs to his advantage to hug to his chest.

"Ya know. I really like you Mikeyway" he confessed sleepily.

"I like you too" I laugh, glancing at him for only a short moment.

It's days like these I'm never going to forget. It may seem like we really didn't do anything memory worthy, but it is the soft kisses and our fingertips brushing against each others palms that really matters. The things that I'll never forget.