Diary Of The Lovely Firework

Page 5

June 18, 2005

Today was a pretty messy day, starting with running late to my set with sex hair, then I had an undesirable talk with Gerard whilst a very persistent Pete texts me. So let's start with yesterday to fully understand my stress.

We were already at the venue that we needed to be at for the next day and bus call wasn't an issue. Naturally I ended up at the door of the Fall Out Boy's bus, due to the mess my bus is at all times.

Pete and I stole the back lounge, locking the door behind us so his bandmates wouldn't see us cuddling. Though, I'm pretty sure Patrick knows due to the weird smirks he gives me.

He popped in a horrible movie called 'Kill Bill' the only good thing in that movie was Uma Thurman in all honesty.

"Why can't I dance like Uma Thurman?" I groan jokingly, since the last real date we had was on that cliff and when he asked me to dance I kept stepping on his toes.

"You can't swim... you can't dance... face it. You're never gonna make it" he mocks. It's from a music video that our band recorded a while ago but it wasn't supposed to be out until this August. But apparently Gerard showed obtained some little clips and was showing it to people.

"It's a good song but I still think that 'Thank You For The Venom' is my favourite" Pete confessed, twirling my sweater string.

When I asked why he shrugged and said I look cute playing it. I'm not sure if I how I would look cuter than other songs considering I don't do anything special for that song.

The string twirling turned into him taking off the sweater itself and kissing me. His hands slipped down my thin torso, soaking in every part of me. I adored his every kiss, how his tongue didn't even have to ask permission, I was just ready for his love. Sometimes I worry that my touch is to strong, it felt like his touches were planned, his touch not reflecting his greedy kisses. I on the other hand, placed my hands wherever they felt like being, randomly squeezing and clawing at the thin fabric that separated us.

But that was just Pete, if I was laying in a weird position he'd find a way to make it comfy. Hell, if there was a mountain in our way he'd probably move it.

I woke up this morning wearing boxers and a shirt, both were uncomfortably sweaty and smelled like I just had sex. Which I did, but thats not the point. I glanced at the clock that read 2:30, five minutes past the time that I was supposed to be backstage tuning my bass.

I didn't have time to worry about Pete waking up alone so I scribbled 'c u soon xomw' on his wrist before wiggling on my jeans and dashing out the door.

It was a five minute run to the stage, meaning I'd have five minutes to tune and get yelled at by multiple people.

"I thought you died" Frank scolded, combing his fingers through my hair so I didn't have sex hair. "Who's gotten into you?"

Before I had to make up a lie, we were pushed out on stage.

After getting off stage and showering the sweet, stickiness off my body I thought I could sneak into my bunk without hassle, but no, Gerard pulled me into the back room.

"I wasn't going to push you. But whatevers up is getting out of hand. Spill it" he demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I played dumb.

He crossed his arms and looked at me sassily "You've got your head in the clouds, always distracted and in deep thought. That is when I see you, Half the time I see you is when you're dashing out the door. Not to mention you didn't come back last night, then you show up late, looking like a mess"

At the absolute worst time, my phone beeped in my pocket. "I'm sorry" I said as my phone beeped again. I internally groaned, nothing else could make this worse.

"I care about you, I just wanna know what's got you all funky" he said then my phone rang. Of course it could've gotten worse.

I quickly clicked it off, but not before I saw it was all from Pete. "Nothing." I defended "just haven't been sleeping well, these bunks are tiny and Ray snores obnoxiously."

Three more texts beeped in before Gerard even got to speak again. "Sounds important." He motioned to the pocket with my phone.

"It's not." I shrug him off only to get a call, which I denied.

"So you wouldnt mind if I looked at these texts" he said, lounging for the phone and it was in his hands before I even got a chance to protect it.

"Gerard don't" I yelped trying to get it but it was too late, he was nose deep in my business.

He gasped and dropped the phone, letting it bounce against the floor.

"Pe-" he began to exclaim but I clamped my hand over his mouth.

"It's not what it looks like" I hiss, letting my hand drop to my side.

"You're fucking Pete Wentz" he giggled

"Okay it's kinda what it looks like. But don't say anything okay?" I begged.

He agreed then picked up my phone and handed it to me. "Call him" he said before leaving me be.

"Are you okay?" Pete answered in a concerned yet irritated and angry voice.

"Fine. I was just talking with Gerard. What's up?" I asked

"The note you wrote on my arm, 'see me soon', are you okay?"

"What? I wrote see you soon" I explained, surprised he saw something more than scribbles.

So we talked on the phone for an hour or so, giggling aimlessly. We shared complaints about sleeping in jeans and just general hate for the world.

It's days like these that enjoy meaningless talks to take all the stress away. I haven't had something like this in a very long time.