There Is No Me Beyond You

~2~

We got off the small bus in Barnes and reached Luigi's restaurant by the pond in a half an hour.

I took Aurora from Veronica the moment Lucas opened the door for me and we stepped inside, deaf to her protests that she would be happy to keep the baby a little longer so Lucas and I could eat in peace. It had been a long day and I hadn't seen my daughter properly yet; I missed her too much.

"Thank you, but I'll take it from here," I said, carrying her to our table, where her pram was already standing by the window.

She is the most perfect thing, I thought, bringing my face close to hers as I sat down, inhaling her particular baby scent, and letting her fist her tiny hands around the loose strands of my hair.

When my eyes fell on her clothes, I had to bring my free hand to my chest, willing away the sudden pang in my heart. The onesie with 'Daddy's little princess' printed over its pink fabric in large, flowing, glittery letters was new. I knew they all meant well, but sometimes it seemed that they did not understand how this all felt... how much, and how often I wished that Aurora's father could see her...

"Thank you, Veronica," I smiled at my friend, blinking away a couple of tears, not wanting to upset her with my reaction, as she approached us with a menu and a bottle of red wine.

Wow. This was the first time since I found out about my pregnancy that they let me drink anything with alcohol in it.

"It was Luigi's idea. And Lucas put it on her, as she still doesn't let anyone else touch her clothes or change her nappies." She said, rolling her eyes at Lucas, sitting opposite of me and Aurora, while he grinned contentedly.

Aurora, noticing her best friend's wide smile, gurgled something in response, and moved her little hands in his direction excitedly, making me roll my eyes too. They were quite a team.

Veronica laughed. "The three of you! You have no idea how amusing you are," she added, leaving us with the menus after she poured out the wine.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" I mumbled, bringing my glass of Chianti to my lips.

Gosh, that tastes good! I thought, closing my eyes, appreciating the notes of red fruits and dried herbs, and smoke and sunshine, all exploding in my mouth contemporaneously. It took him a while, but Luigi managed to fix some knowledge about his favourite wine in my memory.

"I didn't know you liked red wine this much," Lucas said, and as I opened my eyes I found him smiling at me.

"I didn't either," I shrugged, "it just feels like a lifetime since I had any."

I put my glass down and seeing that Aurora's eyes were closing and she was about to fall asleep in my arms, I moved her to her pram. Once she settled happily in her nest of blankets and soft toys, we ordered our dinner.

"I'm sorry for the onesie. Luigi made me put it on her." Lucas said suddenly after we had finished eating, and one of Luigi's waiters had carried our plates away.

He put his hand gently over mine, wrapped around the stem of my near empty glass set in front of me on the table, as I observed the pond spreading beyond the window through the thickening darkness, lost in thoughts.

Of course he noticed how it made you feel. He can read you like an open book, even better than Lia, my subconscious stated the obvious.

"I'm good," I said, turning to him with a smile, and accepting another half glass of wine. "They mean well."

Lucas nodded, then reached towards the pram and adjusted the blanket Aurora kicked off in her sleep. His affection for her was the most wonderful thing.