There Is No Me Beyond You

~1~

Childbirth had been awful, but sword practice with Lucas under the scorching sun of the late summer was much worse.

"I'm tired," I moaned for a hundredth time as our swords clashed in a parry.

"No one will ask you that in a real fight, Samara, and if you tell them, you'll just make everything easier for your enemy. So don't speak and lift that thing higher! Defend yourself, and, after all these months of training, it's high time you started attacking as well!" He shouted, letting his frustration seep through his voice.

'All these months' were precisely three months and a week since Aurora was born. Three short months during which I learned to be a mother, a warrior and a Transcendental... not that I was perfect in any of it. It was too much at the same time not to feel overwhelming, but I was trying my best...

"Fight me Samara, don't just stand there, you can sleep later!"

"Really, I can't... I have to be at work in a couple of hours. I hope you did not forget that you... promised me... to babysit!" I replied, panting with exhaustion, as I lifted the sword, the real sword which I was only allowed to use today for the second time since it was given to me for Christmas, as Lucas instructed.

Mum moved to Brighton with Julian a few weeks after Aurora was born. Not to leave our house empty while she and Dad would decide who would get it after the divorce, Lia, Lucas and I moved over to Barnes. Because Lia and Stoker became quite inseparable, he was here most of the time, too.

And right now I could hear both of them chuckling at my clumsiness through the open kitchen door.

That's enough for this morning, I thought. Knowing Aurora's sleeping routine, she would wake up any minute now. I needed to feed her, take a shower, and as this was my first day back at work after my short maternity leave, I wanted to be on time.

Groaning as my muscles ached under the incredible weight of the sword, its hilt slipping in my sweaty palms, I tried a couple of more-less swift moves, but seeing that I could not break through Lucas' defence...

All is fair in love and war, my subconscious reminded me, making me grin at him as I thought, Whisper!

The fox pushed its head through the hole in the garden wall immediately, and as I pictured in my mind what I wanted it to do, it ran quickly to Lucas and sank its teeth into the leg of his trousers, making Lia and Stoker explode in laughter.

Surprised, he lost his balance and landed on his back in the soft grass. I threw the sword away and collapsed next to him, giggling, running my fingers through the fox's fur quickly before it disappeared again. Whisper was still too shy to stay around, unless I was alone in the garden.

Smiling, Lucas pulled me into a friendly embrace. "I must admit that that was a smart move." He said, even as we heard the baby monitor placed on the garden table come to life, transmitting to us Aurora's opinion on our having left her alone while she slept.

"I'll get her." Lia said. "Go take a shower."

"Thanks, Lia." I told her, letting Lucas, already standing above me, pull me to my feet.

Following Lia's advice, I was letting Aurora get used to being bottle-fed, and looked after by different people. That was also the reason why I insisted on going back to work-- I needed her to get used to being around other people, not just me... or better, I needed to get used to not being around her all the time. Because my planned trip to Romania meant that I would have to leave her for a few days, a year!, either with Mum, or with my friends.

The thought wiped the smile off my face. With Halloween less than two months away, I still wasn't quite sure what to do.

I dragged myself inside, followed by Lucas, and leaving him in the kitchen with his uncle, I climbed up the stairs. Instead of heading towards my bathroom directly, I walked up the extra flight of steps leading to the spare bedroom. Mum had turned it into a nursery before moving out, and that's where Aurora slept. Mostly. Or rather, sometimes. Because most of the time I let her sleep in my bed with me.