XOXO || NONGKUN/KUNNONG

0515

It's been raining a lot these days, don't you think? The air is cold, and no matter how thick the sweater is, it still reaches my bones and my soul.

I feel like I'm freezing and moving so slow I might be just existing rather than doing something with my life.

I cannot see the sky. I haven't seen it just yet and I wonder if I'll ever see it again. Hopeless of me.

People always say that there's always a rainbow after the storm, but I don't think I've ever witnessed it. I think I'm still waiting for the rainbow. And I'm tired of doing so. So tired. I've been under this merciless rain and cold for so long that I'm used to it and I cannot imagine myself under the sunlight. Under an umbrella that blocks all that sadness and cold and feel fear of finally seen the rainbow but not feeling awed because of it. Of only feeling the light and wish the return of the grayness I had before. Of being blinded by its brightness and uniqueness.

School's been quiet these days.

We are all slowed down by the weather, as if we became our own shadows; quiet, expecting for something to happen to the real us so we can move.

People bundle up together as if the warmth they need in their lives will be provided by people who only pretend to care about them. And it's ironic how much I wish to have that empty, superficial company but diminish it as soon as I see it.

I haven't heard a single thing about you. Are you frozen in time too?

I thought you would be the sunlight we all would reach to, but I guess not even a strong shine like yours can fight against the collective darkness we have been drowning ourselves. Why should you? That dark emptiness should only be filled by our own light, but it is hard to do that once you realize there are others who have more to gift. Like you.

xoxo