XOXO || NONGKUN/KUNNONG

0530

Someone asked me a question I had never thought of. They asked me what love is like. And I just stood there because what else could I have done?

I replied I didn't know because I have never lived the entire experience others have had of confessing like a normal human being, getting together and sharing your life with that person to get to know them. And you know what they said? They told me " I didn't ask you if had been on a relationship and what are they supposed to be like. I asked you what love is." And I been thinking about it since.

I like you.

And it's not because everyone does.

I like you.

I like the small and the big things you do. I don't like you for what you look like. I like the idea of you. Of someone who exists in the way they want. Of someone who knows how to laugh, how to act and how to be. You are incredible, like a challenge to existence. You are what many people think can't be. You are defiant and strong, and no one can taint you. And isn't that what we all should strive for?

Relationships are meant for sharing life and not just fleeting glances and formal exchanges. There are steps you should take to get to that moment in which you can consider this relationship and you should never think in the name of it. You want there to be a couple instead of a one, so doing what only you think is right is wrong.

And that's when we get to love. When after sharing all these glances, and moments and pieces we get to see the big painting we have been making all this while. And the picture is huge, and mesmerizing and we think "there's so much I still want to add. There's so much I still want to do and paint and there's more I want to share and be." And it is not that you want to only be with them. You want to live and share that joy it brings you to just be yourself wherever that is and you want that one person to be the one you can say anything without being questioned why because they know and there is no need for words because what can they say that you haven't said before? What can they express that you haven't? And it is all so complicated and so simple that not even words can describe what you want and don't with them. Your happiness doesn't depend on them because you have learned how to be happy by yourself. They are only your partners in this journey and you both know the point of being in this relationship was to share and be with one another. You have learned together how to pick yourselves up, helping each other but never doing it for the other. And things feel right. And it all started with liking the way one is. With liking what we know and craving for what we don't.

A complex concept deserves more than a few words to describe it. And I could never say this aloud. But I'm here telling them to you, because that what I think and I'm here to confess to you. And I'm not asking you to be next to me for life or anything. I'm just here to confess how I feel about you and nothing more. I'm not ready to stop all those fleeting glances and formal exchanges. I'm content with this distance between you and I, because the steps aren't meant to be followed. At least not know. But time goes so fast and hearts change. Life has never been fair and even less merciful.

I apologize for this outburst, but they shouldn't have asked me what I think love is.

xoxo