XOXO || NONGKUN/KUNNONG

0417

You rejected someone today. Again.

Mei had seemed out of it all day, but I didn't expect it to be because of her planned confession at the end of the day.
Her hands were shaking so bad I thought she would never be able to hold anything with them anymore. 

It wasn't my intention to be there. How could it be? She did it in the middle of the hallway, her face red and her voice loud. Mr. Han was standing at his door when I got there, asking me to wait a minute for our session to start. He watched the entire thing but I could only listen to the part were you said that "feelings were a serious matter" and that you wouldn't lie to her about your feelings towards her. You wished her good luck in love and told her to take care of herself. 
 

You were so nice. You did your best, but your smile did nothing to comfort her. It made it worst.

You were sincerely worried for her. Your eyes showed the pity you felt for her and that's what broke her. The waking up of her dream.

When we finally got inside the office, Mr. Han let out a sigh, looked at the ceiling and said, "Do you know that phrase that says 'no matter how many times you wish you could keep a star, the star will never shine only for you'? Because Mei didn't." 

He's not mistaken, is he?

I agreed with him. Why do we keep chasing for stars that are so far of our reach?

My weekly sessions with the counselor have always been long, but we both felt that Mei's sadness and disappointment was enough for the day. I wasn't going to mention anything out of the ordinary anyway. I would say the same I always do: that I miss the fresh boba, the white noise the motorcycles were and my family. That not even watching Justin and Chengcheng running around the cafeteria and spilling coffee over a very tired Zhengting can't make my days better.

Life is not a bed of roses to me, I guess. I hope it is for you.

xoxo