Trapped in Hell

2.4K 70 6
                                    

Requested by nmcr05

warning: eating disorders

--------

Jungkook went to great lengths to hide everything that he did. He turned the shower on when he made himself throw up, hid all the diet pills he took behind all his socks in the drawer, kept his phone on Incognito Mode when he looked at pictures online, among many other things. The packaging of all the snacks he had when he binged? They were all thrown out carefully, either one by one or at some other garbage can where the members wouldn't look. That way, nobody would know what was up with him.

He avoided looking at himself in the mirror. He tried. He tried to diet. He tried to exercise. He binged. He cried. He pinched the fat all over his body and got new motivation to starve. He made himself throw up. He exercised until he fainted. But ultimately, all of this was getting nowhere. Jungkook hated himself.

He played up to his character well. People around him didn't notice anything wrong with him. To them, he was their Golden Maknae, the gamer, the jack of all trades, the singer, the bunny, the guy with the abs, or whatever. But to him himself, he was a failure. He wasn't good at anything. He couldn't even keep up with a simple weight loss plan. He had no self-discipline. If he didn't have that, what else could he get?

------

"I'm not that hungry," he said.

Jimin shook his head. "You always say that. Eat your breakfast, come on. It tastes good."

Jungkook frowned. He was eating breakfast, that meant no lunch then. This time he was going to stick to his plan. This time he was going to succeed. This time he wasn't going to binge three days into his diet. This time, everything was going to be okay.

Jimin eyed Jungkook carefully as he ate. It was rare that the youngest ever ate normally. He was always off, claiming that he wasn't hungry or that he already ate.

Next to him, Jin and Hoseok were happily chatting along. They were so carefree. Ugh.

"What's wrong?" Jimin asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"What?" Hoseok asked.

"I'm talking to him." Jimin nodded at Jungkook.

"You okay Kook?" Jin asked. "You look tired."

"I'm fine."

Jungkook choked down the noodles. Jimin kept staring at him. He hoped he couldn't see anything negative about his body, including his sunken eyes, or his puffy face.

Jimin didn't say anything.

"I don't know how to explain this, but I'm kind of worried about you Kook," Jin said. "You look really tired these days."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Yes, he was just tired. That's all it was. Just a side effect of all the hard work that he did. They didn't know anything.

"If you need a break, you can say so," Jimin said. "We care about you, you know. If you're getting overwhelmed, then that's not good."

"I know, I know..."

Jungkook hated scrambled eggs. He used to like it at one point, but now it was too salty for him. Not that he could say anything though.

Hoseok was gazing at him thoughtfully. Jungkook shivered. Hoseok had a way of noticing things, a way of looking right through people.

Jungkook Oneshots and SickficsWhere stories live. Discover now