AFTERGLOW // finnick odair

eighteen

Loneliness, he'd never been too good with that.

Not that anyone was counting, but they had spent three whole nights at the infirmary of district thirteen; and, so far, nobody was able to tell them how many there were left.

They were in the in between. Not at war just yet, not at peace either. The food tasted like chalk, the nurses carried with them a scent of antiseptic and it was... lonely.

Loneliness, Finnick had never been too good with that.

He was tired. So tired his eyes felt like not opening again every time he blinked. Katniss had stopped by, like she had done every night since the first one. A little bit less angry every time she did so, but carrying around everlasting grief.

Yesterday–or earlier that morning–Katniss had a dream of Peeta. She had those too often.

At first, the only reason Katniss visited Finnick was the pure intention of making him feel guilty. A way of saying through actions, "this is what your plan did to me"; but, after a while, it became sort of "I don't know where else to go, so deal with it."

Finnick didn't know how to deal with it. Because, Katniss never spoke about her nightmares, she just cried herself to the point of exhaustion so she didn't have to be sedated.

This last time had been harder than usual. Katniss couldn't control herself. And when she threw her head in her hands and somehow still manage to weep soundlessly, Finnick started crying too. He couldn't bear see her suffering for her loved ones. It made him miss Mags terribly. It also made him want to do terribly stupid things. So, there he was, drawing patterns in Alivia's thin comforter when he muttered, "Maybe we should sneak out."

Alivia looked at Finnick. His hair was sticking up in all directions possible, from laying on a pillow that was too stiff. He had bags under his eyes, like he spent too much time up at night. And his clothes were too big and almost see through cause the quality was not good. She drew away her gaze.

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on," he propped himself up on one elbow. "We have sneaked out before, remember? We stole that dessert at the Capitol."

"This is different. You know that."

"How? How is it different?"

Alivia stood silent, already scrunching up her nose. Then, she said, "Luca is going to be mad at us."

Finnick did not resist the urge to roll his eyes. It was safe to say he had not warmed up to that guy. "Is his opinion really that important?"

Luca had done everything in his power to make everything more bearable for them; or at least he tried to. Even when Finnick still treated him with hostility. So, yes. His opinion was important to Alivia. Not to mention, she did not want to get in trouble.

"He has been nothing but nice to us."

"He has been nice to you."

Alivia's eyebrows furrowed. "It's not like he has done something wrong to you. Has he?"

Finnick sighed. This was not what he wanted. How where they so close to get into a fight over a freaking doctor? he thought.

"Look, a bell is going to ring in about two minutes. I've clocked it, I'm sure of it. And, when that bell rings no one is going to be in the hallways. We can go look for Mags!"

Alivia shook her head. "It's a bad idea."

Then, Finnick tilted his head and Alivia knew what was coming.