Daisy in the garden of roses {Gilbert Blyth x Oc}

passing notes

- fully edited-
Alice laid back on her bed the skirt of her pale nightgown sprawled out in a circle around her. The tentacles of her chocolate brown hair spread out on her pillow. A small pale yellow book lay across her chest. Her fingers tapped on the cover of the book as though she was fingering a piano. Only shortly after she and Eveline had found their way back to the house the rest of the Daisy family arrived. They ate a decent dinner consisting of some form of chicken Emma had made. A few different types of vegetables from the market, Lilian continuously preached the whole night that she would have better vegetables than this once her garden had begun to grow.

They joked around the table about the things that had happened at the meeting. Alice was in her world for the whole of dinner she couldn't stop thinking about what Anne had said. It's not that it made her fall for Gilbert or that it made her think she did. It was the factor that she had called them happy. Anne called her happy. Happy wasn't something Alice had been in almost a year. It seemed to haunt her past dinner, as she lay there in her bed all she could hear was that same word repeating over and over in her head, happy.

How could anyone in this world be happy after such horrid things followed them? After the world put her down holding her by her wrists. The weight of sorrow pressing down on her chest left her with shallow breaths. Her body felt as though it would fall to dust under the weight. Like dust, she felt small and weightless. Not the good kind of weightless like your free. But if there was one the bad kind of weightless, the kind where all you want is to latch onto something. To hold it close to your chest and yet you keep floating higher and higher. Farther and farther. She couldn't move she couldn't breathe. Yet there she sat tapping her fingers on the yellow book staring up at her ceiling.

Whether it was the soft trickle of the rain against the window or if it was the light tapping of the book but Alice felt her eyes go heavy. Her body sunk into the quilt, her head falling back into the pillow. Her thin fingers slowly to a stop falling flat against the cover. She fell asleep her body weightless under the escape of sleep. An escape she was reaching so far for that yet still was inches away from her grasp. She wouldn't dream she would just lie there in a dark abyss wasting the time away.

Time can only pass so long before you find yourself wasting away without the knowledge of your own contiguous. Alice would find herself awake once again only moments after falling into the depths. The same routine every night asleep, wake up, stare, window, asleep. Alice found herself skipping a few steps moving to the window. Her arms rested on the window ceil her head perched on her arms. She watched as the rain fell against the moss-covered trees clinging to the roof. Looking out at the dim sky the world felt perfect. Alice's father used to call her a necrophiliac, and her love of the dark was time-consuming.

In those moments there was nothing wrong with the world. Her mother was asleep in her room down the hall. Laying as perfect as she was. Her father was asleep in the study books sprawled across the desk ink stained on his fingers. His mouth slightly hung open as he snored sitting in his old chair. Tears fell down Alice's face the tightening in her chest coming back. The truth is the world isn't perfect her little world especially. She had smiled at times when she couldn't contain it. She had let the world believe she was happy. The tiny shield of a bubble that surrounded her heart burst she found herself crying in silence. Not making a noise to disturb her siblings. Letting herself fall asleep crying against the window. For even a short while her necrophilia ended and all she longed for was the light of her mother's smile.

Days later, Alice stared at the chalkboard behind Mr. Phillips. She slid a small tan piece of paper over to Anne. They had been passing notes all over the class for the past few days. Quickly the two became friends. Mr. Phillips had been so focused on Prissy that he never noticed the two girls passing notes to each other. Much of what the notes consisted of were small conversations. Although not your typical conversation it was less about which girl or guy had a crush on who. And more of Anne telling Alice which of the boys she should stay away from, which paths to take to certain houses, and who in town not to tell secrets to. Although Alice did find out that Anne hadn't been there much longer than Alice had.

Alice glanced over in Gilbert's direction only to find that he was doing the same. Gilbert held a smirk on his face giving her a small wave. Her eyes darted back over to Anne who had been containing a laugh. Alice stared daggers at her mouthing, 'Mr. Phillips will hear you!' Anne tried to her laugh looking back to the board behind Mr. Phillips. Alice followed suit tapping her fingers lightly on her leg waiting for lunch. Per his request, the students pulled out their books beginning to read silently to themselves.

Alice periodically looked to Mr. Phillips who seemed to perplex Alice. When he thought no one was looking he would shift his gaze from Prissy to a blond boy who had been sitting in the corner. Alice wrote in the free space left on the small piece of paper.

Who's the blond boy up by Gilbert

Anne took a second to read the note before passing it back writing on a fresh torn-off piece of paper.

Do you mean Cole, Why?

Alice read the note, she was confused herself why she cared so much. It wasn't that she fancied either one of them. It was that she found herself noticing that Mr. Phillips had the same look in his eye that Emma did when she first saw Lilian and all the times after. The look of wanting something that the rest of the world won't let you have. The pain of having a secret so painful that it hurts in your chest. Breaking your heart every time you see their face, yet you long for their presence. For the light yet darkness, they bring to your life. But in this judgmental world, this love can have you killed. And besides all Alice knew about Mr. Phillips was that he was no more than a creep.

Alice's pencil trailed across the small piece of paper.

No impending reason

Sliding the note back to Anne, Alice could feel his eyes on her. Not the paining eyes of Mr. Phillips but the longing eyes of Gilbert Blythe. Yet behind his eyes, there was also pain. But not pain like in Mr. Phillips a pain like what Alice had felt and still feels. A pain that would only grow stronger as time would pass. Events in this line of fate are ready to rip his only known lifeline away from him. Their eyes met a slight smile on Alice's face. Gilbert reciprocated the smile staring only into her eyes. Unlike many of the other boys in class who whenever they spoke first looked her up and down, he looked her in her eyes.

Yet still to Alice, he was nothing more than like the rest of the boys in their class, a misogynist. Truthfully Alice called any member of the opposite sex a misogynist until she could get to know them. A fault and defense of hers, from her experience most men in this age, were just that misogynist. Objectifying every woman they could get their hands on. Marking themselves as smarter without questioning the other's intelligence. Yet men who aren't as horrid exist in Avonlea they were hard to find. 

The rest of the class moved slowly Gilbert and Alice looked over at each other when the other wasn't looking. It had been only a few days and yet Gilbert found himself silently slowly falling for Alice. Yet Alice herself wasn't open enough to fall for anyone other than the temp trace that was the star-studded night sky. And so he watched her from afar unknowingly falling for her with every glance.

Everywhere a Daisy goes a fire must follow.    ~Geofrey Daisy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~