RAYA ▸ SHADOW AND BONE

14 | little palace, big secrets

When daylight once again graced the sky, Jesper parked the carriage on a lonely road in a small town by Ryevost. Kaz turned back to the carriage after he got off, gloved hands outstretched to help Raya down. He clutched her hips, supporting her weight as he gently helped her off the platform and onto the solid earth beneath his own feet.

She turned then, as well, helping Callus off the carriage so he could do his business, before helping him back up and pulling his bowl and some food out for him to eat. In the meantime, the other Crows made their way to the back of the carriage, eyeing it as they waited for Alina to reveal herself.

Raya joined a moment later and, soon after, the lid to the trunk slowly opened, revealing the Sun Summoner. Alina's eyes immediately gazed towards the gun Jesper had in his holster. Then, her eyes moved through the group until they met Raya's. Relief nearly crossed over her features before she took in Raya's company.

Good, Raya thought. She's not completely brainless.

"Why did you get in the trunk?" Raya asked the one question she'd been itching to know the answer to. "Why did you want to leave the Little Palace so bad? Just when you were making yourself at home," she seethed, the memory of Alina kissing the General flashing back to her.

"Raya, you don't understand."

"Oh, I understand completely," Raya said, offering her a sarcastic smile as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Raya," Kaz warned lightly from beside her, wanting to hear what Alina had to say.

"I was in the General's quarters and then Baghra found me," Alina explained with a deep-set frown, her eyes meeting Raya's once more. "She told me... she told me things you wouldn't believe. I––I don't even know what to think. I needed to get away from the Darkling. She said he wanted to use my power. She said he made the Fold..."

"I know."

"What?" Alina asked, eyes wide.

Raya rolled her eyes. "I know he created the Fold, Alina. Seriously, do you think you're the only one who knows the big secrets of the Little Palace?"

Alina was still confused. "What do you mean you know?" Even the Crows were curious to hear the answer to that.

"Baghra told me."

It had happened nearly a year ago at the Little Palace. Baghra pulled Raya along, her fingers digging into the girl's wrist until they entered her hut.

"What's going on?" Raya asked foolishly.

"You need to leave," Baghra explained quickly, looking out the windows to make sure they weren't followed.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Raya, I'm trying to save you from spending the rest of your life in misery. You need to leave."

Raya's brows furrowed. "Why?"

"General Kirigan isn't who you think he is."

"What do you mean?"

"He's the Black Heretic. He created the Fold."

"What? No, that's––"

"Absurd? Irrational? Naive girl, you would've noticed it sooner had he not kept you distracted by dreams of your future with him. Now, you're dependent on him."

Raya's brows furrowed. "No... you're lying. He wouldn't have created the Fold, not on purpose."

"My son tried creating his own army with merzost. I warned him there'd be a price. He wants to use it as a weapon, against the Fjerdans and Shu attacking the borders. If you do not want to get caught in his hunt for power and bloodlust, you must leave now."

Raya couldn't wrap her head around it. She finally felt at home in the Little Palace. She felt at home with Aleks. They'd spent most of their days sitting by his windowsill, or in the garden, or in her room, simply speaking. Aleksander told her of his own childhood and the struggles he faced growing up.

They spoke about literature, spending their days reading together. They would go horseback riding everyday, just to enjoy the nature around them. They ate their dinners beside one another, speaking of the wonderful time they had and how they couldn't wait to repeat it the next day.

Even if he wasn't who she thought he was, she could look past that. He had offered her nothing but kindness and warmth, a real roof over her head, a warm bath, the clothes on her back. Even if he had created the Fold, it didn't change what Raya felt for him.

Even if he had let the power get to his head, wanting to weaponize the Fold, she couldn't blame him. She'd been there countless times herself; as her own power grew stronger, she wanted more and more of it. The cornerstones of her power literally lied in controlling others. Who was she to judge? In fact, how could she judge Aleksander for something she herself yearned for? Trained for?

He had saved her from spending the rest of her life going nowhere in Ketterdam. He had given her a purpose. She was helping people, helping keep all the wrong kinds of people off the streets so the children around Ravka could run around without looking over their backs. She wanted the community to feel safe, to feel free, and that's what her and Aleksander were providing them with.

She didn't know what his intentions were when he created the Fold. He hadn't judged her when she told him about her childhood, about all the things she had to do to stay alive. She couldn't blame him for this.

"No," she said to Baghra, making the older woman turn to her.

"We must hide, Raya," she insisted, trying to pull Raya along with her.

Raya snatched her hand back. "No! I'm done hiding; I'm done running. This is my home... he is my home. I don't care if he created the Fold. All he's ever done is provide me with all I could ever ask for and more. Do you even know him? He's not the evil villain you believe him to be. Perhaps you never tried to get to know him... perhaps you never wanted to."

"Child," Baghra berated, "He is eternal. He will outlive you until you're only a small memory in his thoughts. He does not care for you as you think he does."

"You're wrong," Raya argued.

"If I am... you're free to go back to the Little Palace, back to your perfect room and your perfect hero. When you recognize the villain in him, it'll be too late."

Raya left Baghra's hut that evening feeling the weight of her emotions and thoughts. She wondered, just for a second, if Baghra was telling the truth. Then, Kirigan reached out to place a hand over hers atop the dining table, offering her the sweetest smile. No, she thought, he's not a villain. If that's how Baghra decides to view him because she simply doesn't understand him, then so be it.

Raya chose to see past that. Nothing is black and white. Aleksander wasn't inherently evil; no one was. That's just how Baghra viewed him. But, to Raya, he was her saving grace. And, until he proved otherwise, she would stick by him, come what may.

"Wait, you knew the Darkling created the Fold?" Inej asked, bringing Raya back from her memory. "And you stayed with him?"

"I know, I know," Raya groaned in embarrassment. "Looking back, it wasn't my brightest moment."

"You have terrible taste in men," Jesper teased with a wide grin.

Raya matched his grin, gazing towards Kaz as she mumbled, "Well, not all men."

Before she could even gauge a reaction from him, Alina spoke up again. "Why didn't you ever run? Or rise up against him?"

"Because he's not bad, Alina," Raya grumbled. "You're just making him your villain."

"He created the Fold! He wants to expand it, to cover more cities, so he can build his army of volcra!"

After a moment of processing completely new information to her, she turned to Alina with wide eyes.

"Say what now?"