Where My Heart Used To Reside

Chapter 3

   I woke up and had breakfast as usual. But then, I didn't know what to do to go through my morning. They said we would be going to Rosalind's house in the evening and then going home at night. Meaning, we would spend a lot of time there. I was so excited that I couldn't wait! But now, I had no idea of what to do.

   The only brothers I saw this morning were Felix and Gabriel. The other two were still sleeping, I guess. It was weekend, so they took opportunity of the free time to sleep in. My father had already went to his office after we had breakfast together with my two eldest brothers.

   I was bored, so I went outside. I walked across the gravelled path carefully as I soaked in my new experience as a teenager at my childhood home. I still remembered this garden. Rosalind and I used to play here. Actually, I was the one who played around whilst Rosalind just followed me from behind, making sure that I didn't injure myself.

   The further I walked, the more parts of the garden greeted my eyes. At the end, I saw high walls, separating me from the outside. I was a curious little creature, so I went to the walls to look what was out there. There were quadrilateral openings that were covered with grilles, so maybe I could have a peek from there. I snuck over furtively and before I could reach the walls, there was a voice calling my name and it sounded unhappy.

   "Sabrina!"

   I turned around slowly, seeing Felix staring at me with his cold eyes. He beckoned to me and I reluctantly approached him. I was scared of him, actually. He was still a strict person. The moment when he scolded my 4-year-old self because I drew and doodled on his notebook crossed my mind, making me shrink even more. Now, I was slouching as I stood before him.

   "What do you think you're doing?" Felix asked and I lifted up my head slowly.

   "What do I think I was doing? Umm.. I was thinking that I wanted to look outside," I pointed at the opening. "Just looking. It's not like I wanted to run away," I shrugged. Perhaps Felix thought that I wanted to run away, so I had to explain that I didn't have the intention to do so. I loved being here.

   "Don't go away too far. What if you got hurt again?" Felix said. I looked at the ground, not knowing what to respond. "Get inside, come on," he gestured with his hand for me to walk in front of him, so I did.

   I felt like I was a little kid again, getting scolded by my older sibling. I didn't like this feeling. It was humiliating. It's not like I purposely created a problem. I was just curious. That's all.

   Suddenly, I stopped walking, making Felix stop too. I turned at him and saw his confused face.

   "Were you following me?"

   "What are you talking about? I asked you to get inside, didn't I?" Felix's face changed expression from confused to irritated.

    "I wasn't talking about right now. I was talking about earlier," I folded my arms. "How did you know I was here? Did you follow me?"

   Felix closed his eyes whilst sighing before giving me a short, but understandable reply. "You looked suspicious."

   "I just wanted to explore," I said whilst kicking a stone.

   "Not right now," Felix signalled me to continue walking. I huffed and turned around and took a step forward, but something caught my shoe because I tripped and almost fell on my face. Luckily, Felix quickly gripped my right arm, breaking my fall. He pulled me backwards and I was returned to my previous position, which was standing steadily on my two feet.

   Felix muttered something under his breath. I didn't hear it. Maybe it was good that I didn't, for he might have said something that would break my heart. I didn't think much about it and just walked faster that I felt like I was running. I didn't know why I felt upset. Maybe because of the expression on my brother's face that showed pure annoyance and disapproval. Or maybe because I was very sensitive.