𝙾𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙸 ~ 𝟷𝟶 𝚈𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂

wednesday

TW: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions of trauma, possible derealisation, mentions of body horror, therapy, mentions of medications and diseases, hospitals, course language, and general angst.

I woke up... and promptly fell off of my dressing room's couch, landing on the hardwood floors. Someone was standing over me as I got up, and they extended a hand. 

"Whoa, dude. I thought you were dead or something. You looked like you weren't breathing for a minute."

I put my hand on my chest to feel my pulse. It was fast. I must have held my breath accidentally as I was dreaming. Or... I wasn't. Something felt off. Nothing felt real to me.

"O-oh, Silver. It's you." Silver was the drummer of the band. A good gal, but kind of upbeat for my liking. I didn't know her before the band. We were just... grouped together.

"No duh. Hey, don't forget that we have an interview today."

"Alright, that's cool."

As soon as she left, I leapt to my feet, scrambling towards my desk to grab a notepad and pen. I grabbed them both and began to draw, running my hands through my hair in stress. I drew myself. Not myself... Yuki. I remembered the sensation of being Yuki: half Sunny, half Omori. It was eerie, and lifeless. I could also feel... I could feel something growing within me. Not as in metaphorically, like power or greed, rather literally. Like a flower. I never got to see myself fully, yet I felt like I was watching myself from the outside of my body. And, I remembered a white egret orchid growing from my right eye. That was one of the only things I could recall clearly. It had shaken me up. I felt fatigued. I swallowed a magnesium tablet, blaming my deficiency for such odd dreams. But, and against my better judgement, I punched in Aubrey's phone number.

"Hello, Aubrey Connor speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hi, Aubrey, hello. It's Sunny. I really th-think I need someone to talk to, can we meet up somewhere today? I'll pay, I promise, I just... I-I need your help, I really do."

"Sunny! I mean... Alright, there's a new cafe downtown that I've been meaning to visit. We can talk there, ok? Just take deep breaths for now. What time do you want to meet?"

After the interview, I made my way to the new place. It was where Hobeez used to be... and it kinda disappointed me to see the old store gone. There was something nostalgic about it. As I entered the shop, I saw Aubrey scrolling through her phone and waiting. I sat across from her on the table, and we greeted each other kindly.

"Are you going to buy a donut? I was just about to order something," she asked, pointing to the menu with a nail that was perfectly shaped and painted purple.

"What were you going to get?"

"Just a tea and a jelly-filled donut."

I used to love jelly-filled donuts when I was a kid, but they eventually became too sweet for my liking. I ended up preferring cinnamon, so that's what I ordered to go with a black coffee.

"So, Sunny, what did you want to talk about?"

"I'm so sorry, Aubrey, I didn't want to bother you and-"

"Sh! It's okay, Sunny. I may not forgive you for... but, I can at least attempt to forget for now. Go on," she told me, a sad and sombre look on her face.

"Well... Something's wrong. I was doing alright, until I came back here. I feel like my soul's not aligned with my body, and I'm getting really, really vivid dreams," I explained slowly, not making eye contact out of sheer anxiety. I hadn't been to a therapist in years, I was going okay. But, I felt like a little kid again, back at my first appointment.