ꜱᴋᴀᴛᴇʀ ʙᴏʏ ➵ 𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘯 ✔️

‎𐩗🦋৲𑁯ᰍᝂ𖦥🫐ミfourteen.

my eyes flew open, my breath ragged and my skin on fire. it was the third time i'd woken up in cold sweat that night, shivering in a pool of perspiration. i wrapped myself back into my blanket, curling up into a ball and squeezing my eyes shut. reaching across the bed for my phone, i tapped onto the first contact that appeared. by that time, my shivers had turned into spasms and i couldn't hold in the sobs anymore. 

"hello?" a croaky voice resonated from my phone. 

i gasped, realising who i'd called, "i-i'm sorry."

"jeongin? are you okay?"

"n-no," i wailed, tears trickling down my face, droplets beading from one eye, and then the other. 

"wait for me, i'm coming over," he hung up, and i let the phone drop from my hand onto the floor, writhing in the sheets in pain. 

after a few minutes of sobbing and snivelling like the pathetic little kid that i am, i finally felt empty. it was as if someone had painted the whole world grey, and taken away all my emotions with it. i lay there on my bed, barely breathing, savouring the numbness. through my soaked lashes, i could see my pale curtains, shivering in the silvery moonlight, and the trees beyond, swaying in the frigid breeze.

"—ea? sweet pea!" 

i felt two hands shaking my shoulders, and i let my eyes trace their way up to the owner of the voice that pulled me out of my dream-like state of mind. his voice felt smooth and velvety in my ears, honeydew tone making even the molecules dance through the air, making their way to me. but the look in his eyes was far from reassuring. he looked panicked, his eyes searching my body, a hand only just brushing against my chest, and i watched as he lowered his ear to my lips. 

"jeongin!" he shook me again, this time furiously, jolting me.

a small whimper escaped my throat, and he released me immediately, facial features furrowed in concern.

"sweet pea?" 

"yea—

i felt him tackle me into a hug, his arms laced around my waist, holding me tight. his weight was pining me down onto the mattress, so i shuffled myself around into a comfy position and let it all out on his shoulders. for once, i let the tears flow freely, i let my emotions gush out of me after the bottling them up for so long.  i was so scared of having this breakdown, but now that i'm going through it, i feel like i'm being a nuisance, that i'm just doing it for attention. i'm internally rebuking myself for acting like a drama queen, but i don't hold back on nuzzling my wet face into his sweater. and he held me. he just cuddled me, rubbing my back with one hand and my nape with the other in soothing, circular motions, whispering sweet nothings. 

"you're safe now, sweet, i'm here. don't worry, baby, you're going to be just fine, i'm here now. you're not alone."

i sobbed even harder after hearing those words, but it felt good to choke and blubber out everything i'd been holding back. i can't remember how long we lay there, arms and breath entangled, but at some point, my sobs dwindled and disappeared completely, leaving behind hiccups and sniffles. 

"feel better?" he squeezed me, his tired voice reverberating from his chest to my ears. 

"mhmm," i nodded against his sweater, the warm fabric enveloping me. 

"you're safe now, sweet pea," he stroked my hair distractedly, "i won't let anybody hurt you, i promise."

"you don't have to do that," i mumbled, fiddling with the drawstring of his sweater, my eyes darting around my room anxiously. 

"but i want to. i'm not saying you can't handle yourself, you can do that perfectly without me, but i want to. i don't want to see you hurt ever again. i won't ever forget the way yoo—

"let's not...talk about that. please," i interrupted him, releasing the string. 

"sorry. i didn't mean to—

"has this kind of thing ever happened to you? do you know how to it feels? i can't even put it into words, i felt disgusting, used, worthless..."

"i do know how it feels. trust me, i do, "he paused, took a deep breath, and then continued, "i was molested by my father ever since i can remember, except i didn't even know what was happening, it didn't know i was being abused. i thought it was normal, until i told my friends at school by accident. they were disgusted and pushed me away, i was an outcast, the one everyone bullied, the weird nerd no one talked to," he paused, gulping air down, "and then when my dad found out after a couple months, that i'd told my friends, he tried—he tried to kill me. he tried to drown me. he threw me off the bridge over han river with weights strapped to me, but somehow, i managed to survive. an off-duty police officer found me washed up, hypothermic and barely breathing, and took me to the police station. there, i told them everything. how he abused me, how i was bullied in school, how he tried to murder me. they found my father when he tried to flee the country, and arrested him, and he was trialed and sent to prison. but a few weeks after, my mom and i received a letter saying that he'd hung himself in prison. and—and y-you're the first person i've ever told this to." 

i could hear his heart beating faster than ever, his breathing accelerating, so i disentangled myself from our web of legs and arms and reached up to him to face him. with my hand, i brushed his hair out of his eyes and let my hand run down his cheek, caressing it ever so gently. and before i could change my mind, i shuffled closer and kissed  the tear running down his cheek. 

"we have each other now," i whispered, too afraid to break the silence, "you'll take care of me, and i'll take care of you."

we were two broken boys, each hoping that the other would mend us. 

‎𐩗🦋৲𑁯ᰍᝂ𖦥🫐ミ

hi hello yes 

um 

we just hit 1K idk how tf that happened but okkk

i know it's not a lot for some people but for me that's like wow 

let's have a dinner at a fancy restaurant to celebrate and have some gourmet salad with michelangelo and rupert 

and i'm actually going to cry if san also has a matching amicus ad aras tattoo :D