Neighbors (S. R.)

December

Thursday, December 2

Day 262

"I know the best place," Spencer assured you.

The both of you were pressed up against everyone in the crowd, hundreds of people on the street just waiting for a glimpse of the National Christmas Tree Lighting.

"We have to be fast, though," he warned, his voice almost impossible to hear over the excited chatter that surrounded the both of you.

"Okay!" you half-shouted back, hoping he heard you.

"Hold on!"

He grabbed your hand and then he was off, almost dragging you behind him. You picked up the pace to keep up with him, almost laughing at the way he ran. He looked absolutely ridiculous. And yet his gloved hand stayed firm in yours, and every once in awhile he would look back to make sure you were still there even though you were holding on to him for dear life.

When the both of you stopped, you took a moment to catch your breath. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were speaking, a smile on his face even though you could tell he was winded. He was absolutely gorgeous.

-

Sunday, December 12

Day 272

"Kill it!" you exclaimed.

"It's just a common spider!" Spencer laughed. "It does less harm than you think."

"Still!" you replied from your safe spot across the room. "I don't want it in the house."

"Fine, fine," he chuckled. "Let me grab a cup."

"You are not using one of my cups to catch a nasty spider."

"Well I'm not going to kill it."

"I think I've got some bug spray somewhere."

"You are not going to spray that inside while I'm in here."

-

Wednesday, December 15

Day 275

Warm tears fell down your cheeks faster than you could wipe them away. You were curled up in your bed in the dark, as if smothering yourself under your blankets would somehow keep you from falling apart.

The worst part is that you weren't even sure that anything was wrong. But your chest hurt and it was hard to breathe and it felt like the world was closing in on you. You were alone and upset and stressed and overworked and tired, but it was hard to sleep without Spencer there next to you.

You had tried to call, but he hadn't answered. You knew he was out there saving lives, and you felt selfish about being upset about it. Other people needed him and you knew that, but sometimes you needed him, too.

-

Monday, December 20

Day 280

"It's not like I'm doing this on purpose!" Spencer spit at you. "I'm sorry that I can't grace you with my presence every single day of the week."

"What did you expect?" you threw back, venom in your voice. "That I would just sit around and wait for you? What about my own life? What about my own happiness?"

"If you're that fucking miserable, then why do you even bother?"

The room fell into silence at his words. This wasn't how this conversation was supposed to go. You bit your tongue, looking around his living room to distract yourself from the lump in your throat. Your eyes were already tearing up, and the last thing you wanted to do was show weakness by crying. You made the mistake of looking over at him again, and you saw the regret written all over his face. He took a step towards you, and you took one step back.

"I'll just go, then," you said, your voice cracking against your will.

"Wait-"

But you were already gone, slamming his front door behind you on your way out. You waited for a knock on your door, a text, even a call.

Nothing.

-

Tuesday, December 28

Day 288

Christmas with your family was fine. Nothing particularly exciting. When you got back to your apartment, you couldn't help but notice the deafening silence coming from next door. He wasn't home. What a shocker.

You hadn't expected a card or a gift after your argument, but it still hurt when you found nothing upon returning. With a sinking feeling in your chest, you slipped the Christmas card you had made for him underneath his front door.

-

Friday, December 31

Day 291

You didn't show it, but you were a little disappointed watching the ball drop. Even as you counted down from 10, all you could think about was how lonely you felt in a room full of other people.

You wished you had someone to kiss.