Papillon

Chapter 36: Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Bella

Isabella Marie,

If you're reading this, that means something went wrong. I shouldn't be surprised because that does seem to be a common theme in my life.

I could sit here and tell you my entire tragic life story but really, it's quite a cliché one. And though you've always loved the cliché moments in every single romantic comedy you've shoved down my throat, I'm going to spare you those theatrics.

I'm writing this letter because unfortunately, I don't know if I will ever be able to come back. To this world. To New York. To you.

There's something I have to do, Isabella. And the repercussions will be massive. But I need to do it. Or Mama will never be safe. You understand, don't you, Bella? You know why I have to do this for Mama.

However, I would be utterly remiss if I didn't tell you how much you've had an impact on my life before I go.

Also, don't cry when you read this, Bella. I'll come haunt you, I swear I will.

I know you're biting your nails right now too. Stop that. It's not good for you.

I know you like stories, Bella. Here's my favorite one:

When I was eleven years old, I came to the United States with Mama. I didn't like the life I had in France and when I was smart enough to do it, I left immediately. I had $7 in my pocket after buying the plane tickets and finding an apartment for Mama and I. I had no clothes other than the ones on my back and no place to live.

The first person I sought out was Anthony Hale—the most powerful man on the East Coast. I needed protection for Mama, Isabella. That's all I could even think about. I wasn't looking for anything else.

It was the first time I met him at his house. I'd unloaded my entire life story on him and was in general, hating everyone and everything. It was terrifying being in that house, of course, because the mansion reminded me a lot of places I've been before and wanted to leave so badly.

My outfit comprised of muddy, torn clothes and tons of blood all over me. I didn't fit in with all of the fanciness around me.

I remember being on edge. I was nervous. I was fidgeting. But Robyn, being who she was, insisted I stay with the family for dinner. Have you ever tried to say no to her? It's pretty much impossible, isn't it?

What I didn't realize, Bella, was that you were there too. You and your siblings had all come over. And when Mama and I walked into the living room, all your reactions to me were different.

I remember them all. Because, as you know, I remember everything.

Christian scanned my body slowly and then turned to Anthony and said, "How can I help? What does he need? He can stay at home if he needs to. Should I find an apartment?" It was like instinct for him. He just knew that I was enduring it all for Mama.

Damon just observed the way I moved. The way I flinched at loud noises. The way I didn't let anyone, or anything touch Mama. In his eyes, I could see that as long as he decided he cared about me, nothing would ever hurt me. It gave me a perverse sense of immortality.

Ariadne crossed her hands on her chest and then said, "I like your jeans. I'm gonna borrow them sometime" before proceeding to tell me about a new study she'd found about cancer. I knew in that moment, she was going to be someone who'd always challenge me.

Robyn stuffed a cinnamon roll in my mouth. Her eyes were so wide when she was telling me about a painting she'd made while somehow simultaneously humming some random rap song. Her voice was like honey. She was so goddamn sweet and I'd never seen someone so kind in my life.