Head Over Boots For You // Jenlisa

15: Goodbyes

Jennie

Jennie never slacked off with her work, even during her final days on the ranch. If anything, she had more initiative than ever, checking the cattle for every foreseeable illness or impairment and double-checking ranch records and projected purchasing schedule for the next several months.

After they had returned from their latest check of the herd, Lisa finished up her grooming of the horses and found Jennie hunched in front of the mini fridge in the corner of the barn, a line of vaccination boosters in front of her. She was so absorbed in what she was doing that she didn't hear Lisa's approach.

Lisa kneeled down beside her. "Counting the boosters again?"

"And checking their expiration dates," Jennie said, before gathering them all and placing them back into the refrigerator. "There's enough here, and they're all up-to-date."

Lisa ran a hand up Jennie's back, resting it between her shoulder blades. She felt Jennie leaning back into her touch. "We already checked them all last week, Jennie."

Jennie closed the refrigerator and let out a sigh. "There's no harm in checking them again. I want to make sure everything goes smoothly after—" She stopped abruptly, looking at the ground.

"Everything's going to be fine," Lisa assured her, and not for the first time. "I know when to give the cattle their shots. I've figured out where to get hay this fall. We already worked out our grazing schedule this year, so I can keep the cattle closer to the barn during the winter. And we already sent in our weight estimates to the feeding lot."

But Jennie turned to her with a concerned look before looking away. "I know, but we thought we had taken care of everything last year, too."

"Jennie." Lisa waited until Jennie's eyes returned to her again. "You're going to have to trust me, that I can handle this."

"Of course I trust you." Jennie leaned into Lisa, who wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "But I can't leave without knowing that I did absolutely everything I could to help."

"You already have. You've done more than enough, for me and the ranch." When Jennie still didn't meet her eyes, Lisa reached out her hand and gently turned Jennie's face towards her. "I love you, Jennie, and it's only because of you that I really believe that the ranch is going to survive."

Jennie took Lisa's hand and held it in both of her own. She rubbed her fingers back and forth across Lisa's palm. "I know the ranch will survive, but... will we?"

"If that's what we both want, then yes." Lisa tightened her grip around Jennie's fingers. "And I know that's what I want."

"That's what I want, too," Jennie said, a sad smile coming to her lips. "But that doesn't mean I'm not afraid."

"We're allowed to be afraid. We have a long road ahead of us."

Jennie stared at her for a long moment before leaning in to kiss her. It was brief and tinged with sadness, and Lisa only held her all the tighter.

Turning under her arm, Jennie looked at her again with moist eyes. "I can't help but feel like I'm making a mistake. It's hard to feel like leaving you is the right decision."

And it was at least as hard for Lisa to make arguments in support of Jennie leaving her. But she knew that, whatever Jennie was feeling at the moment, she was too ambitious to stay at the ranch forever. She forced herself to smile for Jennie's benefit. "How long have you been dreaming about becoming a veterinarian?" she asked.

Jennie huffed a sigh, blinking slowly. "Since I was five."

"And you got accepted to your first choice in schools."