milk
it's all spoiled.
This is not how I planned this to go, this was not how you would find out.
I did not envision to be staring at you over new tables and spectated air, that your eyes would not leave mine despite my attempt to gaze in every direction that did not meet your face, because I knew if I looked for long enough just Narcissus did to the image of his visage I would wither into a wilting flower.
Lilies are not meant to be in such bright light, they do not do well under persistent flares and glares of the world and its passengers, they need space, intimate glances from iris coloured irises and words sang to them to help them bloom that are not heard by another, the tune only made for their fragile brown dotted ears.
You have no need to please me in the way I drown in not pleasing you, you do not owe me anything not even a look or a attempt at words spoken. I feel like a hopeless servant to your cause, heart only still beating from the sparse interactions, igniting the flame ever so lightly every time you call me by that name, just to keep me going, a few letters not even spoken clearly are enough.
I want you to know who I am, longing to feel seen by your eyes even though I am not naive in knowing that I am not a thing you take so much serious pleasure in viewing, a passing field, a somewhat shiny horse, a painting you'd hang in the bathroom, that is what I am, something to gaze at when time becomes ridden with boredom.
You throw a piece of bread and I like the birds hurry to take it all in, savour every second of every part you have so graciously given me, becoming famished when your attention becomes thin, soon fattening myself when you come once again, filling my body, heart, eyes and brain with ideas and theories, concepts and desire when you appear.
Lust is the deadliest sin, and I have fallen victim to its prospects, I wish to be yours, I long for that feeling, to have you in my arms and myself wrapped around a finger, but in reality, I do not need it, lust is the deadliest sin, and you are my biggest confession, and despite my attempts to repent I still fall for it all, back to you, despite seeing through it all.
