rationalise
Rationalise
My therapists favorite word to use
She knows my brain does not know
how do it without being reminded,
Even then,
It can not rationalise rationalising.
My mind is too stubborn in its black and white ways to understand the gray.
Unless a definitive answer is given to any of its questions or theories,
it drowns itself in what ifs and fantasies.
Keeping me up is my brains favorite thing,
I think it enjoys watching me spiral,
physically expressing the emotions it's been screaming at me.
To feel so disconnected to yourself
makes you question who you are,
Other people do too.
They notice the flips
and turns
in your personality,
It's like an underpaid electrician
is flipping switches on and off until
they hopefully make a connection.
I don't own my body,
Or my mind,
My heart is controlled by my brain,
A brain that cannot rationalise.
