sleep
though nighttime has never come easy to me,
from the screaming nightmares in my youth,
to the tearful nights in my adolescent,
and now,
as an 'adult',
it's my useless pining that keeps me up all night.
it would be ridiculous to deem these feelings down to just your existence,
you have simply flipped a switch that for a long time was clouded by dark thoughts and dying pieces of brain.
I have always fallen hard for anything I felt feelings for,
I don't know how to do things with delicacy, dying for people who wouldn't care,
loving those I can never have,
dreaming of a reality I'll never live.
With full honesty I can say that though I hope my restless nights of thoughts will be replaced by restlessness with you,
I am not ignorant to the improbability of it all.
I am not stupid, the blonde is just a decoy,
my laugh just a element of my integrity,
I don't sleep because I think too much,
too much about how to get you.
