unexpected feelings | marichat

chapter thirty-nine

   after much begging, and even some puppy dog eyeing, adrien managed to convince kagami to go with him.
   "i am doing this for you, adrien. not because i want to see a weird movie about a crocodile and jagged stone," she'd said, before calling her mother to tell her she had a 'study session' with adrien and wouldn't be home for a few hours.
   it struck adrien that he was either an awful influence or a liberator for kagami. he chose the latter.
a large mass of people was gathered in front of the movie theater, and adrien scanned the crowd, looking for marinette and luka. he found them standing towards the middle of the crowd, and chuckled at how tiny marinette looked compared to everyone around her.
   "i think we should go to the back of the crowd. just in case it's like a line thing," adrien lied, slowly walking kagami towards the crowd, closer to luka and marinette. he averted his gaze, but made sure they were in marinette's peripheral vision. sure enough, marinette beckoned them over, ignoring the looks the people behind her gave them as they settled beside her and luka in what apparently was a messily achieved line.
marinette immediately began excitedly explaining the gist of the movie to kagami, and adrien noticed the fond look luka gave her. there was no denying that luka loved marinette. it would be wrong to interrupt that. just as he was deciding maybe he'd made a huge mistake coming here, luka began to talk to him.
"it's nice to see you and kagami out and about, adrien. though from the times i've seen her, she didn't exactly strike me as the type of person who would enjoy this kind of movie."
adrien laughed. "i almost had to drag her kicking and screaming." luka smiled that smile of his, the one that made anyone who came across it soften like warm butter. it was no wonder marinette had so quickly fallen for him. if luka wasn't so great, and adrien didn't appreciate their friendship so much, adrien may have even been upset at this. but there was no way he- or anyone, for that matter- could ever hate luka.
the line moved surprisingly quickly, and soon enough, they found themselves inside the theater, seated and ready to watch the second installment of jagged stone's cinematic career. adrien sat between marinette and kagami, his arm dangerously close to marinette's as their armrests were connected. it would be so easy to just grab her hand...
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marinette very much sensed the presence of adrien's arm next to hers. they weren't touching, but they were close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from it, and she could also feel the lucky charm she'd given him ever so slightly pressing on her wrist. the fact that he still wore it gave marinette a boost of courage, so she took a deep breath and relaxed her arm, which had been stiff a moment ago to prevent from touching adrien's.
adrien froze at the sudden touch briefly but then relaxed, and she was shocked by how perfectly normal this felt. a few months ago, an action like this would have probably made her hyperventilate wildly, but now there was only a slight tingle that disappeared within a few seconds. she smiled and congratulated herself mentally on how just a friend-y she was being with him. progress!
the trailers began, and luka whispered excitedly to her, "ready to enjoy the funniest movie you'll ever watch?"
marinette giggled quietly. "i thought this was supposed to be a thriller?"
"well, jagged says that in interviews, but is it really that believable?"
"of course not, but we have to pretend anyway! you know, being mega-fans and all." luka smiled at her and turned his attention back to the screen. marinette bit her lip. this was definitely going better than she had expected. not even one thought of adrien's proximity or of chat noir- shoot.
as soon as she thought it, an ad for juice pouches played on the screen, and marinette pouted. chat noir absolutely adored juice pouches. this ad was in no way helping her no-chat-noir-thoughts-while-on-a-date self promise. countless ads played, and somehow marinette's stupid brain kept tying them to chat noir.
   suddenly, adrien leaned towards her and put his lips near her ear. marinette grabbed her soda and took a large swig of it. just a friend, he's just a friend! now there was one way to distract her from her own mind.
   "i just love to marvel at all these superheroes, don't you?" he quipped, referring to the avengers themed ad playing. marinette giggled at the horrible pun, which sounded way too much like something chat noir would have said. for some reason, that made it all the funnier. she couldn't help but retort in the same way she would if it really had been chat.
   "oh, yeah. especially spiderman. he's so dreamy, wouldn't you say?" she whispered teasingly, loving the look on adrien's face. he began to frown, and marinette worried that maybe that had come off a bit weird. is it weird to tell the boy you kinda sorta still like that you think peter parker is dreamy?
   "wow... marinette... i'm afraid you've been spending too much time on the web," he replied, shaking his head disappointedly. upon seeing the look on her face, he smirked and turned back to the screen. she shook her head in disbelief, still wondering how he came up with such terrible puns on the spot. and that smug smile?? he's so proud of himself!! granted, she was closer to him than she'd ever been before, and she knew he dropped the occasional bad joke every once in a while on phone calls or through text, but she didn't remember ever hearing one in person. he's just as dorky as chat noir!
   she smiled as the movie started, thinking of how much her friendship with adrien had improved over time. maybe she did still freeze up around him at times, and maybe her feelings hadn't fully disappeared yet, but she was also now able to exchange jokes with him (smoothly and everything!) and the sight of him and kagami together no longer gave her that twinge of jealousy she'd worked so hard to get rid of. that part of her life, at least, was perfect.
   as the movie went on, she found that it was as ridiculous as people had speculated it would be. it was reducing her to tears of laughter, and she was sure that some people in this theater hated her by now. the thought made her laugh more, but she also felt slightly bad, so she grabbed popcorn to see if that would satiate her laughter. instead of popcorn, however, it was a warm hand that she ended up grabbing inside the bucket. marinette's eyes widened in horror until she realized it was just luka's hand.
   "wow. so eager to hold my hand, huh, marinette?" he teased, and she swatted him.
   "i wanted popcorn!" she whisper-yelled, leaning closer to him so she wouldn't have to be so loud. in turn, he leaned closer, so close that she could feel his breath on her face.
   "just grab the bucket, then," he whispered, but his face was so close that she accidentally bumped noses with him in the process of grabbing said bucket. they both laughed lightly, and marinette leaned back into her seat, face burning from what could only be described as embarrassment.
   marinette could feel luka's eyes on her, and she stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth, focusing pointedly on the movie. because, for all she should have felt during that moment with luka, their faces so close, their lips just inches from each other's, she felt none of it. no tingling, no rapid heartbeat, nothing! it wouldn't worry her, except for the fact that she knew she'd felt all that and more around chat noir.
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kagami giggled quietly at jagged and fang's onscreen antics. truthfully, she'd been less than eager to see this film, but she'd come nonetheless for adrien's sake. now that she was here, however, she was secretly thankful he'd brought her.
    besides marinette, adrien was the biggest source of goodness in her life. yes, she still had to go to boring black-tie events, and she would never dare to publicly step out of line, but adrien had taught her how to have fun. he was the first person she'd ever let her walls down around, the first person who made her feel like doing so was even okay.
he himself seemed to live a pretty rigid life, but he still managed to be so... sunshine-like. he made her happy, in ways she didn't even realize she could be. maybe at first she'd willed the butterflies in her stomach to leave, as they were major distractions, but now she welcomed them fully. perhaps she loved adrien. and perhaps it was time to say it out loud.
she looked towards him, ready to make a small comment about the movie, but found that he wasn't even paying attention to it. instead, he was looking to his left, where marinette and luka sat. he wore a frown on his face, not even attempting to mask his disappointment upon seeing the pair nearly kiss. marinette retracted, giggling and grabbing the popcorn bucket, and adrien quickly focused back on the screen. as if he hadn't been so obviously watching them just now. the frown on his face, however, didn't disappear as quickly.
kagami's happy mood soured. she'd noticed how distracted he'd been lately. she'd also noticed how he looked at marinette whenever he saw her, and the way he talked about her. as if that wasn't a dead giveaway already, that bracelet he always insisted on wearing topped everything off. it was the only thing separating his hand from hers now, even though their arms were still firmly pressed together on their shared armrest.
she tried to refocus her attention on the movie, but it was no use. kagami had become just as distracted as adrien, moping over someone who seemed to love someone else and warring internally over what to do about it. pathetic.
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    adrien wasn't blind. he saw the way luka and marinette nearly kissed, and he'd seen the way marinette giggled as they pulled apart at the last second. probably so they could do so later in a more private area. he frowned and looked away. what was i thinking coming here? marinette looked so happy around luka, and luka could obviously treat her he way she deserved to be treated.
   he turned to look at kagami, who looked like she'd just taken a bite out of an overly sour lemon. not only had he crashed luka and marinette's date, but he also had kagami in here watching a movie she clearly didn't enjoy. he sighed. he hadn't been thinking when he'd chosen to come here. he'd just been following his confused little heart.
   the movie ended, and the group went their own ways. "don't think you'll outpun me next time, adrien. i'm friends with chat noir, so i'm kinda a huge expert on bad puns," marinette had said before bidding adrien goodbye. he smirked, because nobody knew chat noir's bad puns better than adrien agreste, but let her think she would win anyway.
   "should we get some orange juice? my mother isn't expecting me for another half hour," kagami said, breaking adrien out of the dreamy stupor he'd gone into. he nodded, smiling at her as she led the way towards the small drink stand a block away.
   "did you like the movie?" she asked.
   "it was... not what i was expecting," adrien replied. it wasn't a full lie. the movie had definitely been much funnier than he'd thought it would be. but that was based off the few minutes he'd seen when he wasn't busy stealing glances at luka and marinette. he inwardly cringed at how awful what he had done today sounded. crashed a date, dragged another girl with him, watched private moments between his two friends jealously. you're incredible, adrien, truly.
   "yes, it was more enjoyable than i had originally believed. i'm... glad you brought me, adrien," kagami said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. adrien was rewarded with a stab of guilt. kagami had no idea why he'd come to the theater, why he'd brought her along. she was just content that they were here, together.
   "i'm happy you had fun, kagami," he said as they approached the juice stand. they got their juices and started their trek to the library, where the tsurugi car would be waiting for kagami, and where adrien had told his bodyguard to pick him up from.
   "i've been debating telling you how i feel," kagami started, immediately drawing adrien's attention. "but i know that, however this goes, i would not be able to live with myself if i didn't tell you. i am not somebody who gives up, and this is no different." adrien opened his mouth, ready to selfishly stop her because he couldn't bear telling her no if he knew every feeling she had, but shut it quickly. he owed her this much.
   "you make me happy, adrien. every moment i've had with you is a good one. you were my first friend, and for a while my only friend. sometimes, i think that we are made for each other. we're both so alike, but beyond that, i know we could make each other happy. i know that you already make me happy. i just wish i knew... do you love me too?"
   adrien closed his eyes for a second, unable to reply to kagami's confession. she'd practically told him she loved him, and, as much as he wanted to love her back, he couldn't. not in the way she loved him.
   "adrien, what's wrong?"
   everything, he wanted to reply. everything in this moment was wrong because kagami was one of his best friends and here she was, pouring her heart out to him and letting him know she loved him, and he was about to tear it out and rip it into shreds. because he loved someone else, and he felt terrible knowing how long he'd strung kagami along, making her wait for an answer he couldn't give her.
   "kagami..." the look on her face explained that she already knew it all."i'm so sorry. i can't love you in the way you love me. i wish i could give you the answer you want, but i can't. i can't pretend and lead you on, i can't lie to you like that. i'm really sorry, kagami."
   "this is about luka and marinette, isn't it?" she asked, though there was no malice or blame in her voice. she was genuinely asking him. maybe just for confirmation on something she already knew. after all, adrien knew that kagami wasn't blind either. but he couldn't bring himself to tell her.
   "marinette's just a friend."
   she fixed him with a look that could surely chop somebody in half if it tried. "that excuse has never fooled anyone, and you know it. i was just completely honest with you, adrien. can you not do the same with me?"
   adrien took a deep breath. yeah, that was a poor excuse. even he had stopped believing it a while ago. "okay, that's part of the reason. maybe marinette isn't just a friend. i'm sorry, kagami. i should have told you sooner."
    kagami pursed her lips and nodded. "i don't need you to apologize, nor explain. i just wish there was a way to know if any of the times we spent together ever meant anything to you."
   adrien frowned, hardly able to take this. had he really made her doubt this much? "i may not be in love with you, kagami, but every good moment we had... that was real. they did mean something to me. please don't walk away thinking otherwise."
   she studied him for a while, maybe to make sure if he was lying. when satisfied, she nodded, and they continued their walk to the library.
   the remainder of the walk was spent in silence, but not the comfortable kind. it was the suffocating kind, the kind that made you want to scream just to fill it because every second of it was killing you.
   soon enough, kagami's car arrived, the bright red hue glinting in the summer sun. adrien expected kagami to leave without any goodbyes, because he certainly deserved that. instead, she walked towards where he was standing and looked him in the eyes.
   she looked up and bit her lip, almost as if holding back tears. a few seconds had passed when she eventually looked at him once again. her voice was steady when she spoke.
   "i'm glad you finally found the right target." she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, then she held her head up high and walked to her car, not once lowering her head or looking back at adrien. he mustered a small smile despite himself at the confidence that remained in her stride.
   "so, you finally decided to be honest with your fencer friend, huh?" plagg asked as soon as they entered adrien's room. he sighed, beginning to toy with the blue scarf that sat on his desk.
   "she probably hates me," adrien muttered. she had been entirely civil about the whole thing, but the guilt kept nagging at adrien's mind. i would hate me too. plagg groaned.
   "she doesn't hate you, adrien. if she did, she would have chopped you into tiny pieces with a sword by now. besides, you should be happy. you no longer have to deal with lying to her! she and you are both free."
   adrien wanted to argue that breaking her heart in no way made him happy, but something on his scarf distracted him. he ran his finger over the edge once again to make sure he wasn't delusional. sure enough, there it was again, that small section that felt bumpier than the rest of the soft fabric. it felt like there was something embroidered on it. he held it up to the light and gasped.
   just as he had suspected, there was something embroidered on it. there, sewn in beautiful, thin, golden thread, was marinette's signature. so small that it could easily be missed, but there nonetheless. i'm going to be sick.
   "plagg... had you noticed the signature on the scarf my father claimed he gave me on my last birthday?"
   plagg shook his head and examined the scarf more closely. upon noticing the signature, his eyes widened.
   "does this mean that it was... marinette's present for me? not my father's?"
   "no, adrien, it means this is nino's present. of COURSE it means this is marinette's present!" plagg yelled. adrien stared at the signature, slack-jawed. the scarf had been a gift from marinette. she'd sewn it for him. his father hadn't given it to him, of course not. since when had he given such thoughtful gifts? but that still didn't explain one thing.
   "then why would marinette not say anything? she had so many chances to tell me it was her gift."
   plagg rolled his eyes. "you're so clueless. marinette probably saw how much it meant to you that your father had given you a scarf, so she let it be. she saw that it made you happy, so she sacrificed her own happiness to let you keep yours," plagg explained.
   typical marinette. adrien sunk his head into his hands, feeling like an idiot. how hadn't i noticed before? most of all though, he felt an incredible wave of love sweep over him. she had knitted this just for him. and, instead of letting him know that she'd made it- which she had every right to do- she had let him believe it was his father that had gifted it to him. because she knew it made him happy.
   "i know that face, adrien. it's a disgusting face. it's the face you make when you're in love," plagg said, wrinkling his nose and fake gagging.
   "how could i not be? she's amazing," adrien sighed. then he hunched over defeatedly. "and she wants nothing to do with me."
   adrien was sure the whole of paris heard plagg's annoyed groan. "this again? i bet if you showed up at her house right now and asked her to marry you, she would say yes. you both are such saps! why would you think she doesn't want anything to do with you?"
   "because she hasn't answered any of my texts. or calls," adrien replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. plagg narrowed his eyes.
   "she seemed perfectly content with you today in the theater."
   "because she doesn't know i'm chat noir. if she knew, she'd probably stop talking to adrien too. she'd hate all of me." plagg pulled on his eye sockets with his tiny hands dramatically when he heard this.
   "and what makes you think that? did chat noir do something to hurt marinette?"
   "well, no... not on purpose, anyway. but i'm sure i probably screwed up accidentally without even noticing. or she's probably scared of me after what happened with sandboy. either way, she clearly hates chat noir. if she dated me, eventually she'd have to find out about my secret identity. and then we'd be toast."
   "you make me want to cataclysm you sometimes, adrien. she's not scared of you! and she doesn't hate you! i'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation as to why she's not answering. in fact, you should go to her house today. why wait to see her until tomorrow? you could even confess your undying love to her alone," he teased dramatically. the offer was tempting. very tempting. but something told adrien it wouldn't go well.
   "no, plagg. even if she didn't hate me, she loves luka. did you not see them at the theater today?"
   "all i saw was when marinette accidentally grabbed his hand inside the popcorn bucket. after that, she talked to you more than him."
   "she nearly kissed him," adrien argued.
   "she bumped into his nose on accident! they didn't even get close to kissing."
   "yes they did!"
   "no, they didn't! besides, why are you giving up so fast? you took ages to give up on ladybug."
    "i already told you why. i don't want to make marinette uncomfortable like i did to ladybug. i don't want to risk our friendship any more."
   plagg sighed. "but you don't even know if she'd be annoyed. we both already know she likes you. why not just give it a shot? even if it's just one time."
   adrien thought about it. yes, he'd been avoiding telling marinette his feelings for her for the longest time in fear of ruining their friendship, but what good did that do? and the fact that plagg, who despised talking about love, was advising him on this definitely counted for something.
   "okay. i'll tell her today. as chat noir. if it goes badly, at least i'll still have her as adrien. and, if it goes well..." an influx of perfect scenarios suddenly went through his head, further encouraging him to go. maybe i could even tell her who i am beneath the mask. we could be a couple, a real one.
   adrien tucked that last detail away in his mind, focusing instead on how he would go about confessing. hope surged through him as he leapt to marinette's house, ready to tell the girl he loved how he felt.
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   kagami was trying to be strong about this. marinette was an amazing girl, and she wished her and adrien all the best. really, she hoped it would work out. but part of her couldn't help but grieve. that part won out as soon as she was alone in her room.
   betrayal. that was what she felt. adrien had betrayed her. he had said their moments together had meant something, but was that even true? was he even sorry for how much he hurt her?
   the more logical part of kagami knew he was telling the truth. adrien was neither malicious nor was he a liar. he hadn't meant to hurt her. but she didn't listen to that right now.
   instead, she let sobs wrack her body as she held the rose he had given to her, the rose she had kept for so long in the small scrapbook she had made. he had made her have hope all this time, only to crush it in a few minutes. he didn't cheat, no, but she still thought he was a traitor.
   had she not been good enough for him? had she not met his standards? adrien was perfection personified. if she hadn't been what he wanted, that had to mean she had done something wrong. but what? what was it that she did wrong? she lived her whole life striving for perfection. had that not been enough? was the love she felt for him not enough?
   all this and more went through her head as she lay, crying on the floor of her bedroom. god, she felt so ashamed. she wanted so badly to just get over it, to be happy for her friends. but she was too wrapped up in this feeling to care. so wrapped up, in fact, that she didn't even notice the black butterfly that flew towards her, taking advantage of her sadness and connecting her to hawkmoth once again.

(ps. how obvious is it that i used sour by olivia rodrigo for kagami's section pls, i just feel like the songs fit her so well yknow? they embody what would probably go thru her at this, i rly wish i could expand more on her and those feelings but like i rly dont want to drag that part on or bore u too much, esp since this chapter is already like twenty pages lol)
(a/n: ok so this chapter was originally gonna be a plethora of separate chapters in different povs but that would have been choppy and like rly rly difficult to keep up w so to keep this simpler and def more enjoyable for all of us it's in third person narrating separate thoughts throughout each segment, also 100 votes omfg ??? insanity tbh , i say it alot but ily ppl sm thank u for reading <33)